I was watching that stupid Quit-Smoking-Gum commercial and when the guys says, “15 days…but not in a row.” And I literally blurted out, “Guy! Who gives a shit? Fucking congratulations for quitting a habit that is literally killing you. And I’m literally using the actual term of “literally” correctly. I could not care less that you’ve not smoked for 15 days. But not in a row.”
And then I thought, why is this guy so fucking smug? So it’s like cool to fall of the wagon but still get credit for 15 days? No. You see, no one at AA get a chip for 6 months…but you know…not in a row. There was two months in 2010. 2011 was bad. Then 3 months in 2012….
Yeah, no. Dude, here’s how you quit smoking: Stop buying cigarettes. And then lighting them and smoking them.
I’m honestly not trying to shit on those trying to quit smoking. I guess I’m just thinking – I don’t give a flying fuck. And while we’re at it, I don’t care about your ailment or disease or misfortune either!!
Why am I forced to watch/listen to uncomfortable commercials about erectile dysfunction, dandruff, overactive bladder, incontinence, diarrhea, constipation, disgusting mucus, erections lasting for 7 hours; see a professional, the sad cloud that follows you around, the wellness spa you should go to because 12 step programs don’t work for you, tampons, cramps, hemorrhoids – whatever it is… I don’t care. I really really don’t. Go away.
The pharma commercials crack me up the most….because I don’t go to the doctor and say “Hey, can I get Trademarked-Brand-Name-Drug from you today?”
No, my doctor sends a script to CVS and then some dude that looks like Red Swingline Guy fills it, and probably automatically uses generic to save me money anyway. Guess what? I have a prescription for Paxil, but I’ve been taking Paroxetine for years!
Thanks for letting me rant,