And please say the word “weird” with a very Boston, almost bordering on Jersey Shore, accent please.
So there I am – watching TV and catching up on Big Brother while emailing (Emailing, not texting) someone on my BlackBerry and I realized…”Duuude. This is so weird! I have a keyboard, literally a miniature keyboard, tiny small, full-fledged keyboard with all the letters on it, fits in my hand – small keyboard. Holding this keyboard in my right hand and emailing someone. With one hand. One thumb actually. Unreal.
When I was a freshman in college – that was the first time I used email. And the computers didn’t look like THESE (maniacally waves her hands at the LCD monitor in front of her)! The monitors were the size of televisions (well not even the televisions we have now. Those are even insane. Flat picture frame like things that you can hang on the wall?!Holy Astro Jetson!) and had like orange or green ASCII font. I can’t even describe it. How old are you? If you’re young…please go watch WarGames. Or The Last Starfighter. And every time you say: “OMG – stuff looked like that??” The answer is “Yes! Fucking stuff looked like that. Ok?? Our video games. Our hair. Our jeans. TVs. Telephones. Yes Yes Yes!” And then we’ll talk about Sony Walkmans. First the cassette Walkman; remember how the yellow Sport Walkman had a button that would automatically play the other side of the tape without your actually having to flip it over? Remember? *sigh* And then there was graduation to the CD Walkman. But still utterly ridiculous because you had to carry around a book of cds. I won’t even get into it.
And while I’m still in awe of this oompa – loompafied keyboard, I can’t help but think of the iPod (Not to be confused with the iiiiiPhone or the iPad) as a bona fide futuristic cool piece of shit. I could literally put thousands of songs, on this tiny little piece of nothing, and not hear the same song for weeks? Is that what Steve Jobs is selling me? SOLD! Wow. Seriously. It still blows my mind. Who am I kidding? Wireless phones and walkie talkies still blow my mind. I’m more of a string and can kind of girl.
But yeah, that was weird. And I felt compelled to write about it because we take so much for granted, I mean, I do at least. And every once in a while, I just stop to think, “Holy shit. This is pretty cool. These kids today are so lucky! They have no idea.” They really don’t. Think about it: When we were young, we didn’t have cable. Or video games. We had TVs though. And so did our parents, but our parents didn’t really have color TV. Well some of our parents!! So we were like “Oh wow. No way! No color tv?” So we had a hard time believing it. But then guess what? We got Atari or Nintendo with Duck Hunt (the gun!). We got cable. Hello MTV! And we realized what it was like to go without. And then suddenly have it. We understood now, and believed our parents when they said they didn’t have color televisions, nor microwaves, nor bathrooms they had to share with black people. (To be honest I wanted to use the word “negroes” there, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. That word is just SO dated and it makes me giggle a little bit. I cannot believe people actually used that word. It’s so weird. Anyway I didn’t want to offend anyone with “negroes.” Because I understand that it may not be the word that makes you giggle inside.)
New stuff would trickle out every couple of years. We got used to waiting for new stuff and would get really excited when new stuff would come out. Cell phones (who the hell ever uses a payphone anymore?), remote controls, call waiting? All cool. We appreciated it all. Kids nowadays…everything is already freaking cool. They don’t really give a crap about anything, because they have cell phones, and iPods, and DS, and Wii, and iTunes and Netflix (holy crap how awesome is Netflix? Red Box is awesome too. And yes, yours truly tried to feed a dollar into the Red Box the first time I tried it. Oh about a week ago.. yeah.), and awesome 3D movies (when all we had was Jaws 3D).
What could possibly happen in technology that would make the kids today stop in their tracks? I just cannot think of anything. iPad is insane technology, right? *thinks* Kindle is crazy. I think you would have to implant chips in our eyeballs so we could SEE a movie, like almost be in it. I don’t know. Think about it…what would impress them at this point? Flying to Mars for the weekend? Impressive. A device you can stick in your pocket that can be a phone, camera, video camera, GPS, Walkman, solitaire, text, email, internet, calendar, calculator, Apps that simulate a lighter for concerts even though the younguns today don’t actually hold up lighters at concerts. ALL of that, can fit into the palm of your hand, literally…WHAT could possibly impress you after that?!
I have no idea, but I cannot wait to find out!
ps. I can’t believe I didn’t even bring up digital cameras. Remember film? Remember when they didn’t even have 1 Hr photo processing? Remember when you couldn’t take film through security at the airport? Ok that’s all.