In the (Entertainment) News

     The show is named “Dancing with the Stars.”  Now, granted, the “stars” are not usually A-List, but Bristol Palin?? A star? Stop it. The Situation? He’s a star (as much as we hate to admit it).  She is just…there. I mean, she got pregnant at 17 and we happen to know about it because her mental case* mother ran for Vice Presidency of this country. I do not think that makes her a star. Now, Levi Johnston…he’s a star. He was in Playgirl magazine!!

     Speaking of stars, I have a bone to pick with the paparazzi.  For the record, I totally do not care that you follow celebrities around for work. God love ya. More power to you. But I’ve noticed something recently: Where are all the good pictures?? For example, one of the mags/rags had a picture of Joe Jonas (of the Jonas Brothers) “kissing” Ashley Greene (the kooky short-haired vamp from Twilight saga).  I use the term “kissing” within the infamous quotation marks because they weren’t actually kissing.  They seemed to be leaning in for a kiss, but there lips were certainly not close to touching. Ok so….is this photog carrying around a Polaroid or something? And he can only take one picture at a time??? I thought these guys had super fancy cameras that can take a whole shit load of photos, one right after the other. If that were the case, he/she would’ve gotten the money shot. (Not THE money shot, but you know what I mean.) Wouldn’t it be better to have an actual picture of Joe and Ashley kissing than a picture of them leaning kind of close to one another? Maybe it’s just me. But I’m starting to realize that these magazines are full of shit. Remember the good old days of Britney walking barefoot into a gas station bathroom, or shaving her own head, or attacking a van with an umbrella? Now THOSE were awesome!!! We actually got to see something out of the ordinary. Nowadays we have plenty of those “They’re just like us!” pictures of them at a grocery store or something.  Um, no. If Star Magazine has a story about Ashton kissing a blonde girl who is NOT Demi Moore, and much younger than Demi Moore, then why isn’t there a picture? No one had a camera in that restaurant? Are you serious? Every single cell phone on the planet has a camera. (Exception: the Jitterbug for old people). I always see pics of Rob Pattinson and the Lip Biter from Twilight out at airports and concerts together, but never kissing. Yet the story will tell me all about how they were canoodling and making out. Really? Because the pictures don’t show that. And you would think that if the paparazzi followed them around all day, they’d get at least one pic of them smooching. I’m just so tired of seeing pictures of celebrities where they aren’t doing anything. If they are getting followed ALL FRIGGIN’ DAY by TMZ and the like…then there has to be something juicy. That’s all I’m saying… Like when Brad supposedly sneaks off for a secret romantic dinner with Jennifer Aniston. Where are the pictures?? I’ll buy that magazine. Hell, if the headline on the magazine is “Brad texts Jen” I buy it. Seriously. I am obsessed with Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. I don’t know why I want them back together so badly. And please don’t get me started on Angelina. Blech. I boycott her career.

     Conan’s new show is going to be called “Conan.”  Makes sense to me. Moving on…

     Michael Douglas has cancer. That sucks. I wonder why he made another “Wall Street” movie when all we really want is another “Romancing the Stone” movie.  Admit it. Now we’re not going to get it. *sulk* But we are going to get another Ghostbusters! Wooohooo. That has nothing to do with Michael Douglas dying of cancer though. I wonder if Catherine Zeta Jones is planning on who to date next. Will she turn into a cougar? We shall see…

     You know what amuses me?  Paris Hilton claiming the cocaine she got busted for was not hers and it’s obvious (duh) because it was found in a cheap purse and she only uses really expensive brand name purses.  Hahaha.  Love. Her.  Let’s face facts here:  She’s an heiress. She’s a millionaire. She doesn’t have to work or go to school. Of course her days/nights are going to consist of partying and shopping. She answers to no one. I don’t blame her. Snort on, girl. You’ve got no place to be!! You don’t even have that annoying little dog to look after. 

Until next time –


* “Mental Case” reminds me that I have to write a blog about the The R Word. Which is actually more fun to say than “retarded.”  However, I’m not a big fan of people who freak out over the word “retarded.” And if we were going to split hairs then I should be offended by the term “mental case” since I was an actual “mental case” in a hospital once. I’ll write about that later (October 1). Before I get all worked up about this retarded topic, I’m going to stop now so that I’ll have something to write about. Oh, and I gotta write about that retarded mosque issue too.

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