Unsound Advice

I won’t lie: I would LOVE to do an advice column.  I probably wouldn’t be very nice but at least I would be honest. Since no one has ever sent me any questions, I decided to scour Yahoo Answers for some questions. Holy shit, have you ever been on Yahoo Answers? Let’s just say that I’m not dying to dive back in there again. Some of that stuff is scary!!! I have chosen three questions at semi-random. Ready? Let’s go!

1. When you greet people with “How are you?” do you really mean it? 

I mostly never mean it. I ask it because we are obligated to. I’m 99.9% sure that the person I am asking will answer with a “Good, and how are you?” At which time I will answer, “I’m okay”, “I’m fine”, or “I’m good, thanks for asking.” (Which reminds me of that song from South Park: The Movie. “I’m super. Thanks for asking. All things considered I couldn’t be better I must say. I’m so sorry, Mr. Cripple, but even the fact that you can’t walk can’t bring me down!!”)

I always want to answer “Bad. My life sucks. Thanks for asking, asshole.”   Remember that the next time you ask me “How are you?”

2. Why do people care that Prince William is getting married?

Why? C’mon. Because!! We don’t have anything like a royal family in this country.  PLUS, the last big whoop-dee-do wedding  in England was Wills’ parents.  That was lavish and off the hook (yeah I said it). We only wish we had the budget of the Windsors!! PLUS, we need all the gossip…who will get invited, who won’t and where the hell are they going to stick Camila?? Plus, we are all romantics when it comes down to it. And we really do want Prince William to be happy. Us old folks remember him and his brother (the HOTTTTTT!!!!!!! Prince Harry. I love me some red heads.) at Disney World with their beautiful mother, Princess Di.  It would be nice for there to be a successful, non-crazy marriage within the royal family.  THAT’S why we care.

3. What is your favorite song with “Heart” in the title? 

People are going to be up in arms about this, but my favorite song with the word “heart” in the title is:


My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion.

Scandalous!!! I am well aware that there are other really groovy songs with “heart” in the title: Break Your Heart (BNL), Heartland (U2), Heart Shaped Box (Nirvana) but they are not my FAVORITE with the word “heart” in the title.

Just last week I heard My Heart Will Go On for the first time in years.  I was at my part-time job at the liquor store (holla!) and was dusting the dark bottles (man, they get dusty) and it came on over the loud speakers. Just that beginning instrumental part sends chills down my spine. I have no doubt that this is a multi-sensory thing going on. A) I like the song, B) I clearly think about Leo, C) I clearly think about the love story between Rose and Jack. SWOON!!! And then what about the poor little Irish kid who doesn’t understand that because he is poor (and Irish) he will drown to death? C’mon.  Consider my heartstrings pulled.  And it all rushes back when I hear that song.

That’s pretty powerful stuff. PLUS, I believe I heard at some point in time that the final version of the song was actually the first take that she (Celine) sang. Which is pretty fucking cool if you ask me.  (I hope someone looks into that because I’m feeling extra lazy today.)

Ok so the last question wasn’t really advice-y but so what? It’s my blog and I’ll do what I want!

Have a question for JMo? Need relationship advice? Someone got you down? I’m here for you. Leave your question in the comments section.

Until next time,


3 thoughts on “Unsound Advice

  1. #1. A lot of my European friends hate the “how are you?” question and “see you later” expression. To the how are you?, they would actually take time to respond but then they soon realized that it was as empty as saying hello and good bye. And for see you later… it’s like if I’m not going to see you later, then why say it!

    #2. Celebrities are our royal family in the U.S.! But I think you should petition that we start one

    #3. Got stumped on that question!

  2. I will be more than willing to marry Prince Harry and start a whole new type of royal mash up family. America and Britain together again!

  3. I almost never mean “how are you?” I say “see you later” all the time, most of the time not intending to see that person later (sometimes hoping not to…)

    I like fairy tales- since we don’t have a royal family here, it’s like a real life fairy tale. They are not real people.

    Bringing on the Heartbreak- Def Leppard

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