Last week the topic in the lunch room turned toward boobies and genitals…you know…real mature topics. And someone mentioned how his friend named her boobs. The left one is “Lizzy Borden” and the right one is “Lorena Bobbit.” While I was confused as to why anyone would name their boobs in the first place, never mind after two women who clearly used knife-products in an incorrect fashion, I was more confused when the guy admitted that he named his balls. BUT not his penis.
What? That seems the most obvious organ that would get a name! Big John, Little John, touch my schlong! I have blocked out the names that he gave his balls (Curly and Lefty maybe? Whatever) but am still sort of peeved that he didn’t name his dick. What the hell is up with that? Name your goddamned dick already!!!!! I’m waiting.
I admitted to never naming my boobs (still don’t get it!) but had applied a moniker to my lady parts: Bunny. But it’s not a name per se. Just a code word. I’m not a fan of saying the P-word, so instead I’ll say Bunny. I mean, if I ever need to say it. I certainly do go around just dropping Bunny into every conversationI have. Don’t you worry about that. Look, don’t make me feel bad about sharing okay? That’s what we do in xojmo land…we share. And you don’t judge. I judge though, because that’s my job. Duh.
So share with me…Have you named your parts and if so, what are the names? Or are people just not doing that? I’m so clueless. What’s new??