Say What Now?

Come again?

Sorry, can you repeat that?


These are the things I say to myself when I read the internet search engine entries that get you folks out on the interwebz on to my blog.  Some of you search “xojmo” (Thank you. That’s very cool that you remember!). And then there are things that make you go “hmmm…” BUT having said that, there are things that I write that are clearly begging weirdos to find me on the web. I should expect the unexpected when I type things like “rape whistle” and “abortion bumper sticker.”

Want to see some of the searches from this past week that brought y’all to my blog? WELL TOO BAD! I’M GOING TO SHARE THEM ANYWAY!!

alec baldwin hairy

Now it’s true. I did mention Alec Baldwin and his being hairy. Wasn’t the MAIN topic of my post so I’m sure it was disappointing for said searcher. Especially when he/she was expecting super hairy bear pictures of Mr. Baldwin. Sorry!!! Next time I mention the hairiness of a man, I’ll include pictures!

why interested rape

This, ahem, bothers me the most because CLEARLY there are key words missing from this equation. Such as “am I” or “are you” or “all of a sudden.” I guess it’s good to know that people are searching for the term “rape” and “rape whistle” but you gotta wonder WHY they are searching for them in the first place.  Again, whoever searched this term must’ve been sorely disenchanted when they got “That screaming kid sounds like a rape whistle!!”  I am not sorry however. Weirdo. Ok, now I’m sorry. I shouldn’t judge.  (Please don’t really rape anyone though. You know, because you are interested.)

god spot sonut

*blank stare*

And that got them to XOJMO how exactly?? I did a story on donuts…but that says “sonuts.” I’m truly at a loss.

And lastly, my favorite (drumroll please):

you can pretty much run over the cone and drive off because all I have is this rape whistle

I think that pretty much says it all, don’t you think??

Here’s to the Mad Libs of Internet Searches,


 P.S. I’m baaaaack! Miss me??

The hair!!!!

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