When Do the Miniature Giraffes Jump Through Your Hat?

So I really was planning on live blogging the Royal Wedding, but I got all caught up in the excitement. AND I was also up extremely early and wanted to stay snug in my bed and not sitting up with a laptop. Sorry everyone!

But here I was, taking pictures of things I thought were funny to insert into my Royal Wedding post.

Like this:

Spotted Dick. Heh.

But then this happened:

 

Umm....

And then I couldn’t think of anything else funnier. Ok, do I still find Spotted Dick funny? Yes!! Of course. But what the hell princesses??

Now there’s been a lot of talk this week about these hats and the hats at the Kentucky Derby (which is coming up. And my Uncle Mo got scratched due to some stomach bug. There goes my Trifecta!).

Here’s the thing: The hats at the Kentucky Derby, no matter how big and over the top, are still usually more classy than those hats, and the Kentucky Derby hats are SUPPOSED to be ridiculous!!

And I’m sorry, but the only person at the Royal Wedding wearing a hat correctly was the Queen herself. On her head. All the others were sitting on the side of the head. Why?? Even my nine year old niece made a comment about how they aren’t wearing their hats correctly.

Ok back to Cinderella’s Evil Step Sisters: Do they not have mirrors in their castle? Do they not have friends? Did they not see each other before they left the house that day? Did a fat mouse named Gus Gus sew these outfits?? Seriously. I secretly think they wanted to be popular in America and they knew the only way to do that was for one of them to wear a blue sausage casing, and the other a monochromatic get up that no one would even look at it because she has an octopus on her head. Fine, happy now girls?? We know you in America now. But we are insanely confused as to why you wore those get ups??  You’re rich, you’re royalty….C’mon!!

Before I go, I’m super duper pissed at the English paparazzi for not getting a picture of yummy David Beckham wearing his top hat.

Oh and one last thing: I heard that Kate and Billy (that’s what she calls him) danced to “Your Song” by Elton John but was not SUNG by Elton John. Now, wasn’t Elton John at the wedding? Wouldn’t you want the song sung by the actual guy….ELTON JOHN?? Remember he made over one of his biggest hits with lyrics to Princess Diana…you mum, William? Hello! I’m sure he would’ve bellied up to the piano and belted out the lyrics to “Your Song” just for you two love birds.

With Uncle Mo out, who am I picking for the Derby win you ask? Why, Animal Kingdom of course!

xojmo

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