JMo Declares New Holiday! (Again, You’re Welcome Hallmark.)

Do you know anyone, perhaps even yourself, that is in a relationship and is really freaking unhappy? I know I do.  It almost makes it seem like being single is worse than death – that they would rather stay with that person than part ways. And take it from me, it’s being single is really not that bad (don’t read most of my other posts. ahem).  But having said that, I wouldn’t mind being in a fun, groovy relationship. But here’s the thing: A lot of people are spoken for.

And that blows.

So I have an idea:

If you are NOT in a healthy, fulfilling relationship – Get out of it. And this means married people, this means boyfriend/girlfriend, girlfriend/girlfriend, boyfriend/boyfriend. Anyone in a committed relationship with someone else – someone you are obligated to kiss, have sex with and buy birthday presents for – and you just don’t really like them anymore – Break up! See ya! Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. (Hopefully both people feel this way deep down inside.)

Stay with me; I’m going somewhere with this…. Now, I’m pretty sure this is a majority of people. For those of you who are truly happy and NOT TwitPic’ing your junk to the world – then you can stay married/committed/joined at the hip/ball and chain. And God love ya for it. But for everyone else….be free! I know I’s complicated with houses and children and cars and bank accounts and friends and playdates, blah blah blah. But what if everyone sort of just collectively decided, “Ok let’s clean house and really not be with the suckers we don’t like/love anymore? Agreed? Agreed!!”

THAT would be heaven for us singletons. The dating pool would grow SIGNIFICANTLY and our soul mate who was otherwise spoken for just days ago…is now up for grabs!!!! And I’m not even talking about the married guy down the hall you’ve had your eye on. I mean…everybody. Everywhere you go there will be a potentially new boyfriend/girlfriend.

Now, you may be asking me “Ok JMo, I’m semi-onboard with this because I hate my naggy wife. But why would I want to jump into another relationship?”

Ok completely sane-thinking made-up person I quoted in my own blog,  maybe you don’t. And under the new rules (which I’m clearly just making up as I go along) you would be free to NOT be in a relationship but rather do whatever you wanted. It’s a really neat concept. Being your own person. Which some people are REALLY frightened of doing. Not sure why though.

BUT – what if you did meet a chick who WANTED to watch the Bruins game tonight over some Blue Moons and NOT a marathon of Real Housewives over Sutter Home White Zin? What if she loved fly-fishing, just like you? And didn’t complain about the stench of fish guts when you came home from a fishing trip you had to BEG wifey to go on in the first place? See?? Maybe if we were all on the same level playing field, we really could meet someone with the same interests as ourselves. And not shackled to someone whose Dad got us a job and now we feel obligated to still be with you, or someone you got knocked up in college.  Imagine…being free!!

It would be like the whole world is an awkward singles dance. But wouldn’t you look at everyone differently if you knew that he/she just dumped their S/O and is now looking for someone new, fresh and exciting? And maybe YOU are that fresh, new and exciting person? Wheeeeeeeeee!

I do realize it will never really happen. But in light of all the scandals with cheating spouses (I won’t merely blame it on men)  if we did have  National Dump The One You’re Obligated to Hump Day™, then you could go out and find 15 women to sext with and 25 homely maids to bone and no one would care. Or even have the RIGHT to care.  Because you aren’t married and you are free to do whatever you want!!

I would LOVE to know that each man I saw during the day was fresh meat waiting for me on which to pounce. Oh well…so be it. Stay with the person you’re with, even though you can’t stand listening or even looking at them. You are giving up what may be your only chance at a fulfilled life. And only because you have this sense of obligation. Let’s shake things up!!!

Again, if you are happy and loving life with your significant other then by all means do not take part in NDTOYOTHD. Live long and prosper etc etc.

Always thinking outside the box,


P.S. Think you can write a good “National Dump The One You’re Obligated to Hump Day” greeting card? Please do so in the comments!! Fun!!

5 thoughts on “JMo Declares New Holiday! (Again, You’re Welcome Hallmark.)

  1. JMO, what did you eat this a.m.?! LOL. So I’m diggin’ the concept. There’s a little bit of a zen philosophy behind it. Live free and relish life in the present. But here’s the thing. I think we are wholly creatures of habit. While we are in bad relationships and unhappy jobs, we tend to hold on – sometimes to a prayer – that things will change. And we have a high tolerance for just “dealing”, because we hate change and the unknown territory that goes behind it. But you make a very strong message that leaving a bad situation will lead to something better, especially if you go about it with an “authentic self”. So with your national holiday, I think people will jump on it, maybe as a license to go “buck wild” for a day, but they’ll revert back to what they know. 😦 Sort of like Valentine’s Day. What you think?

  2. I think that I liked that you put some thought into it. And probably more than you should’ve! haha. But yes, I was totally going for all of those things: Zen, live in the present etc etc. Just wrote about it very exaggeratively (is that a word?)

    “Dealing” and “reverting back to what we know” isn’t always a good thing though. Change is good.

    Also just trying to get a date. haha.

  3. Sorry! I’m now a designer and I don’t think any idea is out of league. I get into “design – how could this really work mode!” Really…and sometimes to a fault. And I’m totally confident you could pull a date without creating a new holiday though this would be worthy of a guiness book of world record!

  4. I’m still working on the greeting card, but in the meantime, I noticed the “tm” so I searched it for you. You’re clear. Well, SAEGIS clear anyways. If you have $655 laying around, I’ll order a Full for you.

  5. I have a sneaking suspicion no one will be eager to Register that holiday anytime soon. So if I keep using it, I think I”ll have the common law all locked up. haha. I certainly don’t have $700 bucks laying around for that! But I certainly do have some money laying around for something else!!!!!!!!

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