NKOTBSB at Fenway Park 06/11/2011

Green Monster

Yes, I happily admit that I was at Fenway Park on Saturday, June 11, 2011 for the NKOTBSB concert. And it certainly did have the Once in a Lifetime feel to it.  I was honestly there for the NKOTB part and not so much for the BSB part. In fact, there were too many BSB fans there for my liking. Don’t get me wrong: I do enjoy the vague “I want it that way” and “Everybody” songs, but overall, this is BOSTON and we all wanted to see New Kids on the Block. Full Stop.

Let me start by saying that the weather SUCKED. Overcast and cold all day.  Yet a mere few days prior, it was topping out at 95 degrees. Classic summer weather. I was very much looking forward to wearing the cute, SUMMERY, outfit I picked out months ago to the concert on Saturday night. But the weather was calling for temps in the 50’s (FIFTIES!) and downpours. Great. Thanks a lot Mother Nature. Apparently you are neither a New Kids nor a Backstreet Boys fan.  Or perhaps she is a Kevin Richardson fan and is pissed he didn’t feel like joining the reunion. Oh well, his loss. I can’t even imagine how much money these men are cashing in.

I dressed appropriately: Red Sox cap with shamrocks, Dublin zip-up sweatshirt, jeans, shelltoes (Adidas!) and hoop earrings. Again, NOT the cute summery outfit I had chosen back when I bought the tickets in January. But it’ll do. And then I stopped off at my sister’s house to borrow her husband’s big ugly yellow rain slicker with hood. Ah, yes, did I look SEXY!!

Once my friend and I got there, it became painfully obvious that most women still went with their “cute” summer-appropriate outfits. I saw a lot of shorts, skirts, flip flops, gladiator sandals (which I abhor!), tube tops, spaghetti strap tank tops, and sparkly sleeveless dresses.  And all I kept thinking was:

“We’re not even in the first fourteen rows out from the stage. We’re over here by first base and home plate. Do you really think that Donnie Wahlberg is going to make his way ALL THE WAY OVER HERE and choose you to fuck in the stands because of the outfit you are wearing?????”

Seriously. What were these girls thinking. Not only was it overcast and damp all day…this concert was at NIGHT. And we all know that night is colder and damper. And at the NKOTBSB concert, a lot more moist!! (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

So yeah, I looked like a complete tool but I didnt care. I was warm and once the torrential rain started, fairly dry. Can’t say the same for Justice McWestSeal over there.

American Idol Jordin Sparks opened up. I sort of felt bad. She had NO band and was pretty much karaokeing to her own songs.  The weirdest was her “duet” with Chris Brown where she sang both parts but I could definitely HEAR him in the background. Um okay. And then she had these two dude back up dancers. And I’m pretty sure she is hooking up with one of them. But regardless, she can sing her ass off and her hair was huge (and I know a bit about that) and she looks great. Good for her.

She got over a little past 7pm which I thought was weird since she started at 6:40pm and Donnie Wahlberg Tweeted that fans should be in their seats at 7pm. Um ok. That timing was off.

After she was done, I needed to pee and find something hot to drink. Believe it or not, the bathroom lines were long but quick. I mean, considering that there were THOUSANDS of women there. Speaking of which, what is the opposite of a Sausage Fest? We thought maybe “Taco Fest” but I wasn’t sure.

After the peeing, I wanted to find the supposed Dunkin Donuts stand which I was told by two Fenway workers was “right around the corner that way.”  I was practically at the bleachers and saw ZERO Dunkin Donuts. Which made me think of when I was in high school. I took German as a language and we had some exchange students.  We told them that our teacher taught us this lame song “My hat, it has three corners” (mein hut, es hat drei ecke) and talked about “Um die ecke” which means “around the corner.” Anway, the F.E. students told us that in Germany, if someone tells you they are going to bring you around the corner (um die ecke) that basically you were going to get your ass beat!! So the whole time I’m thinking “um die ecke” my ass Fenway!!

So now I’m far from my seat and the crowd is massive. I am not looking to fighting my way back to my seat so I climb one of the  ramps and see that I cannot cut to my left to get back to my seat. ARGH!! I turn around and the ramp is pretty steep so I end up half running/half speed walking down the ramp. Almost bouncing. I’m right up against the wall and prepare to take a right, and at that same exact moment, a BOY/MAN/MALE person is taking a left (but not staying to his right) and we end up colliding. And he’s holding two cups of beers. 

He was taller than me, and now the beer is dripping off of my face and down onto my beer soaked sweatshirt.  And we sort of are in shock and just stare at each other. Now I immediately wanted to go on the offensive nad be like “What the fuck, asshole? Can’t you see where you’re going. I’m not going to pay for those beers!!” But instead I just stand there, afraid to say anything. And everyone is staring at us. Waiting to see what will happen next.

He speaks first, “Are you okay??” I say I’m fine. He apologizes. He’s not an asshole, so now I’m glad I didn’t rip him a new asshole. And he leans in for us to cheek kiss. And then I thought, “Oh he’s a gay guy at NKOTBSB. Of course!’

Long story short, the concert was phenomenal!!! It was literally (and I know how everyone loves to throw around the word “literally”, but I’m really using it in the true sense of the word) the greatest concert I had ever been too.  There was this aura surrounding it. And then it started to pour buckets and it made it even crazier!! The guys started using the stage as their own private Slip ‘n’ Slide. And a big one at that. 

While I loved being on the inside of Fenway Park, I truly wanted to be on the outside, just for a moment, to hear what we sounded like to the folks passing by.  Every single one of us was singing at the top of our lungs during mostly every song, including “Please Don’t Go Girl.”  What must have that sounded like out on Yawkey Way? How far away could they hear it? Kenmore Square?  MFA? Where?? It was loud!!  I want to know. Anyone walking by the park that night…let me know!

A few weeks later I found myself at a charity event with a silent auction.  There, staring at me on the table was this gem:  Two tickets to see NKOTBSB in Orlando (BSB’s home town), two backstage passes, and two first class roundtrip flights to Orlando. Um…sign me up!! I eventually won with a bid of $490. If you ask me, I stole that shit.  I also had to threaten a man who wanted to bid on it at the last minute. I said “Dude, I’m 35 years old and have never met NKOTB.  I stalked the Knights on Melville Ave. I stalked Danny Wood on Adams Street. This time it will be legit. I am meeting them. SO BACK OFF!!”  Yay for threats!!

I will definitely let you know how this trip goes. Can’t wait. It still has not sunk in that I am going back stage to meet them. I cannot wait to wear my NKOTB Fenway shirt (which sold out that night before everyone could get one). Maybe even have them sign it!! With a Sharpie, you know!!  And then THANK THEM, not only for that awesome night at Fenway, but for all the great memories since I was a little girl. When I think of the soundtrack of my life, it just would not be complete without the New Kids on the Block. (Jon you’re my favorite I love you!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo. But having said that you are gay, and there’s nothing wrong with that, so now I super love Donnie!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo)

Isn’t worried ’bout nuthin’ cuz it won’t take long,


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