Karma’s Not a Bitch – It’s a Black Santa (Part 2)

I know a lot of you out there in JMonsterland have been waiting for part 2. And I can tell you whole-heartedly that it won’t be nearly as exciting as Part 1. Mostly because I waited too long to write it. haha. Hey, I’ve been uncreative recently. But what I think is funny – I haven’t been writing but I’m still getting a decent amount of hits daily. So hey… cool.

After anonymous Holiday Inn guy called, I called the police and explained to them what happened. The guy on the other end of the phone was quite unimpressed with my clearly awesome detective skills and said “ok. we’ll have someone look into it.”

And then we hung up. But like twenty seconds later I’m like “What the hell?? I just FOUND the vagabond who committed a crime against me and they don’t seem to care.” So I called back ten minutes later under the guise that I forgot to give my case number or whatever. I guess they didn’t need that. Cuz Ms. Officer Unfriendly basically told me that “if we said we’ll send someone out then we will.” Ok Jeez. Sorry.

And then nothing for like an hour. And now it’s 9pm and the store closes in an hour. And then what?? I’m dying to go down to the Holiday Inn and throw some smack around, but I’m being told “No. Don’t do that. What if she has a knife?” Which I guess she could’ve stolen that too. And kept it in her big ass purse of hers.

Finally by 9:15pm Officer Crotchberry comes back and whips my phone out of his tight pants!! Hurrah!! She took the battery out (probably because I kept calling it and she had no idea how to turn it off??) but the sim card and everything else was in tact. Whew!! (Now I had to call back the phone company to get the service put back on. That was un-fun and un-funny.)

But sadness – he didn’t arrest her. He got the GM of the hotel to bring her out of the big NA meeting room (I guess this would be too embarrassing to do in front of everyone? I don’t think so!!) And asked her for the phone. She said she didnt have it. Then he tells her it’s on video. THEN she says I gave it to her. WHAT?? Yes, I gave my $600 Blackberry to some lady I’ve never met before.

He basically told her, “look, I know you didn’t give it to her. So here’s what we can do. You can give me the phone now. Or don’t and then I’ll arrest you and on Monday you can tell the judge she gave it to you while he watches the video of you snatching it off the counter.”

And she gave it up. But she didn’t get arrested. He took down her info. She’s was from NY. She’ll have been summoned for court but probably won’t go (he said). And then there will be a warrant out for her arrest in Massachusetts if she ever gets pulled over. I was just so happy to get the phone back I didn’t care.

But then I did care. I think it’s complete bullshit that someone can steal property from you and then get away with it. Such bullshit.

Oh well. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

P.S. I got insurance on my phone the next day when I called to reactivate the service.


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