(**UPDATE: This post seems to be trending on my page and I can see what is getting traffic here. If you are visiting this and you have pictures of these men and are NOT sharing them with me, I will be very sad. Or at least please leave a comment if you know these guys. OR if you are these guys! Merci and Danke!**)
Last Saturday (07/23/2011) I was at EPCOT Center (Yes, I still call it that. I cannot wrap my brain around Epcot. Just like how I cannot wrap my brain around NesQuik. For most of my life it was Nestle Quik. And then they smooshed the words together. Why? Also something I don’t understand… SalonPas. Have you seen the commercial for these? Not a catchy name, in fact it’s the opposite of catchy…and yet here I am…talking about SalonPas. I guess it got me to remember it’s ridiculous name.) and I was visiting the different pavilions in World Showcase. For those of you who don’t know (Super Sigh @ all of you!!), EPCOT Center is divided into two sections (as opposed to all of Gaul which was divided into three): World Showcase and Future World. Basically Future World has the rides and World Showcase has the booze. I mean, the cultures from all different countries.
There were two men in particular that made me stop dead in my tracks and I want to tell you about them. And I secretly hope that a movement will happen where you will all vacation at the Walt Disney World Resort and head to Epcot’s World Showcase and find these two men and photograph them and then SEND those pics to me. Because really….I love them. They are so so hot. Wow!
Ok first guy was in France. His name: Pierre. Of course!! He is a natural beauty. And I don’t think I”ve ever said that about a French person before. And being a man and being hot is WAY more impressive than being a chick and being hot. Because chicks wear makeup to enhance their looks or cover up the scary shit. Men…they just show us their true selves. And wow…Pierre.
I walked up to the kiosk ‘Les Vins des Chefs de France.’ I was looking to buy my fave frozen drink – Grand Mariner Orange Slush (make with Grey Goose). YUMMY! Well when it was my turn to get up in line I heard “How can I help you madame?” in the hottest, sexiest French accent coming from the hottest and sexiest guy in Fake France – Pierre. (Hurry. If you are reading this and you are already at Disney World, please go take photos of him and email them immediately at firstname.lastname@example.org . I will literally send a dollar to everyone who sends me a picture of him!)
I usually hate being called “ma’am”, but being called “madame” by a hot French guy has an awesome ring to it. So already I’m smitten, but then I get a good look at him, and WOWZERS. Tanned skin. Sparkling blue eyes. And blonde crew-cut hair. He is just the bee’s knees if you ask me. Meow!! JMo likey!! We chatted a bit, or rather I stumbled over some words and then that was it. My encounter with one of the finest specimens on the planet was over. I am jealous of all of you who have yet to meet him. He is a looker! Fo’ Sho’!
The next hot guy worked in Germany at the Sommerfest kiosk. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It’s like Pierre had a hot long-lost cousin in the Black Forest of Germany and his name is Paul! “Paul” is not a sexy German name. Actually no German names are sexy but Paul…? Is that even German? Don’t care. Because guess what…he really was German and I know this because we spoke German to one another. Oh yeah! JMo knows her German. And would Frau Delosh be impressed. Wunderbar!
I decided to order my drink Auf Deutsch in order to a) impress Herr Paul and b) spend more time with him since there was an assload of people behind me in line and the last thing I wanted to do was to STOP looking at him. Er ist sehr gut looki, ja?? JA!! Ja wohl!!
Paul is the opposite of Pierre but still smoking hot. Pierre was on the shorter side and Paul…he was tall. And looked like a cross between Kellan Lutz of Twilight fame and WR for the New England Patriots, Wes Welker. This is my horrible stalker photo:
Yes, Paul is wearing lederhosen. Still super hot. (By the way – I decided to Wiki “lederhosen” to learn more about them. All I have to say is: How disturbing is that photo under “Traditional German boys’ clothing”? The head was cropped off and is that a bulge? )
When it’s finally my turn, I ask him (in English) – “I would like to try to order from you in German. If you don’t mind.”
Can’t remember exactly what he said (again, I’m just STARING at him!) but it sounded like it was OK for me to ask him in German.
me: “kann ich ein oktoberfest bier haben bitte?”
him: “excuse me? what?”
me: *terribly mortified because he didn’t understand me and now I feel like I got rejected at junior high dance*
him: *starts laughing and speaking German quickly.* I pretend that I follow it – barely! But he finally asks me “ein? zwei?”
me: “ein bier, bitte. Danke.”
He tells me that I owe him “acht” I hand him a “zwanzig” and get “zwolf” back.
There are “Dankes” and “Bittes” and then he tells me “Auf Wiedersehen” and I say “Tschuss!” Which is like slang for goodbye. And he smiles and also “Tschuss”es me.
And then I yelled “ICH LIEBE DICH!!! ” Okay I really didn’t. But my heart did. Holy smokes. Again, if you are at World Showcase anytime soon, find Paul. And Pierre. Get them together!! Take pictures. Send them to me. Please!! I want the internet to work for me now!!
I can tell you that Italy did not have any fine men at their drink kiosks. For shame!! But in all seriousness, Disney should capitalize on the hot interns they have there during the summer and sell calendars with their pictures a la NYPD Firemen. They don’t even have to be lewd (although that would be ideal but then again, very un-Disney-like). I just would love to be able to look at Pierre for a whole month. *sigh* I think Disney should be all for it since they love selling stuff. And they love it even more when we buy stuff. And I LOVE buying stuff at Disney. But that’s a whole other blog! (Which I will probably never write).
Down with being O.P.P.,
P.S. Happy 40th Magic Kingdom! “Here you leave today and enter the world of yesterday, tomorrow, and fantasy.”