New Year Minus Happy

Dear 2012,

I rarely make resolutions.  No one bothers to keep them anyway. They are silly little things we tell ourselves to make us feel better. And then find a way to fuck it up anyway. BUT having said that, I will try to write more. It is truly the one thing I love and people still stumble upon my blog from time to time and enjoy the few minutes they spend here.  So I might as well try to write more. I would love to strive to write every single day. BUT I also know how I am. If nothing tickles my fancy, then I just won’t write. I’m a bitch like that. I need to be inspired. I know….! I need myself a muse. Anybody want to be my blog muse? That would be a first.

My birthday is in a couple of days. And every single year I make the same wish when blowing out the candles. Like a sorry six-year-old I hope that the wish will come true. And it never does.  I haven’t decided if I will wish for the same thing this year (that is if anyone gets me a cake) or if I should just throw the damn candle right out the door. Alas, I will probably wish for the same thing and hope all year that it will come true. That’s what I did all of last year and 2011 sucked. So you better be a stellar year 2012!! Or else!

I was lucky enough to spend the last day of 2011 alone. (read: sarcasm and hurt) And be told by someone that I have a terrible personality and that I should really do something about it.

I may not have the greatest of personalities. But I certainly do not think it’s terrible. But see, this is why my self-esteem is in the gutter: People freely tell me how they feel about me and I get hurt. And I wonder, why do they feel that way? When I honest to GOD, don’t think my personality is terrible. I think I am honest to a fault and people cannot handle my expressing myself. I don’t know. But when told things like that, it makes me want to curl up in my hole some more and never come out. I’m sure one day if they ever have a sister show for Hoarders that is “Agoraphobics”, you’ll certainly find me on that show. I may never leave my house again! Why subject people to my terrible personality? Not even an attitude. Jesus. My whole personality sucks I guess. I apologize to everyone for my terrible personality.

Thank you to all that read xojmo throughout last year. I hope you come sniffing around again this year. I promise I will try to write more. I would love suggestions or random ideas. You never know – you may become my muse!

I hope everyone has a fine new year. Yes, just fine. Wouldn’t it be nice if everything was just fine?


One thought on “New Year Minus Happy

  1. OH JMO! I would love to tell you to put on your big girl pants and move on but I am very much the same way! Why the hell do we care what people think?? ESPECIALLY since they are probably not worth our time in the first place??? I like to kid myself and say screw em’ but I know I still secretly long to be wanted by these “people”. As for ideas for your blog there are so many! Maybe the first could be about how women are CRAZY! It’s not a bad thing and it shouldn’t be looked at as some kind of secret…it is the trust we are NUTS! The sooner we accept it and let others know the better off everyone will be 🙂

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