It’s been a long time since we’ve had a really good juicy celebrity meltdown. We got so spoiled with Paris Hilton getting carted off to jail, crying while staring out the car window. Only to sashay out of jail a short time later looking fresh and well rested.
And at the same time it was as if the GREATEST of all celebrity meltdowns were happening…..You know who I’m talking about. Mz. Britney Spears.
I remember I could not log on to Perez Hilton’s website enough to see what that crackhead was up to. Ok, I certainly do not know if she was on crack, but she was acting whack. And I have to abide by what Whitney Houston said: Crack is Whack.
Where was I? Oh yeah. Britney.
It all started with that 20 second marriage to her “childhood friend” in Vegas. And then ended up falling in love with her back up dancer AKA KFed. Who already had a girlfriend that was preggo. So wrong Britney to steal someone else’s man. But whatever. THEN they got married. And then divorced and then all hell broke loose.
Next thing you know, Britney is walking around gas station restrooms without shoes. Eating Cheetos and drinking Mochachinos from Starbucks on a daily basis. Wearing wigs and talking with a funny English accent. CLEARLY something was wrong with her. Was it bi-polar? Was it drugs? Combo of both? We’ll never know. They have her locked down now. Which got me thinking – who is going to be the next celebrity meltdown?
Don’t even get me started with Lindsay Lohan. I could not care less what happens to her. When she is on the news, I cringe. Never surprised by the outrageous crap she finds herself involved in.
No, we need another America’s Sweetheart, the way Britney was – to have an epic meltdown this year. We’re jonesing!!
So I started thinking about who would be a fun, unexpected meltdown. And for some reason, Neil Patrick Harris came to mind. He’s been riding the wave of America’s heartstrings for a while now. BUT then i thought, it wouldn’t be too much fun for him to have an epic meltdown because he’s got that husband and set of babies at home. *sigh* Ok NPH, you get off this time! (That’s what he said! ha)
So then I started thinking about one of the Jonas Brothers. But eh…I mean, as surprising as it would be for one of them to snort coke in an LA Club bathroom and start speaking in funny accents…They aren’t really that relevant anymore. It would be more said than fun.
So then the answer became clear – Justin Bieber. Man, he is annoying liked by many girls and his voice has not held up during his puberty transformation (“When it’s time to change, you need to rearrange, who you are into what you’re gonna be…..” Word.) It almost happened when that girl came out to say he was her baby daddy. Scandalous! We need more adult scandals from him. He’ll cheat on Selena. Nude self photos will get hacked off of his iPhone. I dunno! Something!
So while I’m holing out for a complete Bieber meltdown – tell me, WHO do you want to see fall a smidge off their high horse this year? And whatever you do, don’t say Gaga. I love that bitch!