I Medaled in TV Marathons

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone says that they don’t watch tv. Or even worse, they don’t even own a tv. I look at them like they are an alien from another planet.  A LOT of people do not admit to watching or even liking television. Yet, millions of dollars are spent on television programming and advertisement every year. (I have no idea if that statistic is even remotely realistic but I’m gonna stick with it.)

So obviously Dove soap and Doritos are advertising to someone besides myself. So I’m forced to believe that mostly everyone is a closet tv watcher.

I, myself, freaking love tv.  I admit it.  I have the most expensive cable package you can have. I’m not proud of it. I would probably give up eating before I give up I.D., HBO, or VH1.  Oh I’ve thought about downgrading, but then what about True Blood? What about Dexter? What about RuPaul’s Drag Race on LOGO?  I NEED my cable.  If that makes me a loser, so be it Jedi.  I will be a very entertained and informed loser.

The past couple of weeks have been slow in regards to new content. So that is the perfect time to catch up on all the shows I’ve been missing or have fallen behind on. This includes, but is not limited to, TiVo, DVR (yes I have both in two separate rooms. Shut up. I got the TiVo in the divorce. Lifetime paid up front. So I’m keeping it until the damn thing dies.), On Demand and just good old regular marathons.

God, I do love those marathons. Especially when it’s a snowy cold Saturday and you stumble upon a really old season of Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model and you immediately get sucked back in.  However, my marathon tv watching didn’t really involve shows I’ve already seen (Ok, there were a few Jersey Shore eps that snuck in).

I’m going to give you a SPOILER ALERT now even though I haven’t even told you about the shows I watched yet.  But I will. And I will freely give my opinion.  Let’s start, shall we?

1. Watched last 6 episodes of the Dexter season to catch up. *sigh*  It’ll never be as good at Ice Truck Killer, Bay Harbor Butcher or even Trinity. Let’s just face it. I suffered through Lumen last season. And I suffered even more through DDK. Even more than Jesus on the cross!! Ok maybe that’s pushing it. Seriously? Deb is in love with her “brother”? That’s where the writers decided to go with this? Why couldn’t they have done this when the actors were married to one another? Which was creepy enough. Now they are divorced in real life, play step-siblings on the show, and now one of them is in love with the other one. Oh, and also saw him killing someone. FINALLY!! All along I’ve wanted someone to see Dexter killing someone. This should be interesting. I would also love to see the final season be Dexter’s trial. I seriously doubt anyone would convict a serial killer who killed complete dirtbags. Gracias Senor Morgan!!

2. Watched last 6 episodes of Homeland to catch up.  Okay, first off LOVED Damien Lewis in Life on NBC a few years back. He’s yummily red-headed and British! Meow! JMo likey!! And now he’s playing another American on Homeland. Couple things: Saul is so shady.  I can’t believe they went there with Brody. How did Mrs. Brody find out that her husband slept with Carrie? And lastly, what the hell will they do next season if Carrie does not work for the CIA? I’m intrigued. And I will be back for more Damien Lewis!

3. Watched a marathon run of a show called Face Off on SyFy channel.  I NEVER watch SyFy. Like ever. But while I was scanning through On Demand to catch up on Dex and Homeland, I saw Xfinity/Comcast showcasing Face Off. Let me break it down for you: Apparently this was season 1 and season 2 starts on the 11th. Ok well they did horrible advertising for this show. Never heard of it before. BUT it was pretty cool. It’s like Project Runway, but instead of fashion challenges, they are faced with special effects makeup challenges. I’m a total geek about special effects makeup. When I was little I would watch The Making of Thriller on VHS tape over and over again. Undecided if I wanted to be a professional back up dancer OR a make up wiz like Rick Baker. Iobviously did not become either one of those, but I kinda wish I did. So 12 people show up to show off their skillz.  And while they are really good, their techniques or sometimes lack thereof REALLY make you appreciate the professional make up artists out there. I mean, think about Avatar and Walking Dead and The Muppets.  We take it for granted, but those folks are hella talented. (P.S. I was joking about the Muppets. I know they are not special effects. They’re real!)

(Totally not done yet)

4. WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME HOW FREAKIN’ AWESOME MOB WIVES WAS LAST SEASON? Look, already admit to loving Jersey Shore. And of course I love Mob Wives. It’s the half Italian in me. Bada Bing! Seriously. Watched all of last season (DVR’d it while I was out and then FF all the commercials when I got home), and then lucky me….the premier of season 2 started at 8pm. Weeeee! Move over Baseball Wives. I gots me some new bitches on VH1 to watch. And way more entertaining. Cannot wait to see what happens with Drita’s divorce from Lee! Renee’s relationship with Junior!  And how many times Karen can mention that her father is Sammy the Bull!

5. I watched a whole shitload of Tabitha’s Salon Makeover. OMG, I love that woman. She’s like a female version of Simon Cowell. Or something! I don’t even know how to describe her. But those salons are gross and she really tells them like it is. Totally addicted. I recommend.

6. Sprinkle in a whole bunch of 48 Hours and Dateline on I.D. and we’re pretty much all caught up. Except I’m not!! On my DVR I still have the whole season of Revenge which I’m hearing is awesome. And also Person of Interest.  I’ll get to them at some point. We’ll have to get snow at some point this winter!!

Look, I’m not proud. But hey, I love to be entertained. I also fit in a viewing of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo at the theater and holy smokes, that chick is BAD ASS. If I could be 1/34th as badassy as Lisbeth….I cannot even imagine. I like just walking around pretending that I have a badass secret like I tattooed “I’m a rapist pig” on my ward of the state. Oh holy shit. SPOILER ALERT STILL!!! I warned you!!

xojmo out!

P.S. I really wish ABC would bring Cougar Town back. It’s a great show. But ABC usually ends up canceling shows I actually end up caring about like “Men in Trees” and “FlashFoward.”

P.P.S. I bought myself a Maple Pancakes candle at Yankee Candle (duh. Where else!) and seriously….half way through my blog I was like “Why do I smell friggin’ pancakes? I’m dying for pancakes!” I reazlied it was the candle in the kitchen. YUMMY!! I really do want pancakes now.

P.P.P.S. I also enjoy watching sports. Believe it or not. If you’re a single guy who also likes TV, hit me up, yo! We can watch together. And eat pancakes. With syrup.

One thought on “I Medaled in TV Marathons

  1. So much to comment on, I don’t know where to start. So I’m going to stick to Homeland. BEST show on tv! Loved every second of every minute of it!

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