I’ll Never Understand Motels

I think I’m scared of motels thanks to Psycho and the famous Bates Motel. But seriously….what is the deal with “Motels”?

Earlier this evening I was taking some back roads home from a restaurant and I passed a motel. And the parking lot was definitely full.  And my thoughts are always… “Why are there so many people in this random hotel?” I mean, it’s not like we’re two miles away from Gettysburg or Niagara Falls. Random back road, and boom…a motel.  With patrons. More than one.

As a storyteller, story reader and a nosy nelly…I’m DYING to know what is going on in there? Who are you? Where are you from? Do they have free HBO? Are you renting by the hour? Did I just offend you?

I would love to know all there is to know about random little motels. Maybe I should make it a road trip and visit different out-of-the-way motels. But then I’m afraid – do we think they are even clean??? The only motel I trust is Motel 6 because it’s a chain. I only trust chain businesses. I mean, they have to be doing well to stay open right? Keep a cleaning staff? Pay electric bills? Right??

Joe Blow Motel on the side of the randomest road in America near no landmarks or major highways just screams dirty to me. And creepy.  And yet…busy for a Thursday night.

Has anyone stayed at a motel? Is it like a hostel? How much does one pay to stay at a motel? I wouldn’t pay more than $29 a night. Seriously. Otherwise, I’ll drive my ass an extra 20 miles to find a Best Western or Holiday Inn, thank you very much.

I’m giving serious thought to the motel visits.  Could be interesting research/writing. Maybe I’ll make a coffee table book. Maybe I should Google that to see if it already exists. Save my money.

Before I go, can I just admit that I’m sad the holidays are over because Egg Nog has to go back into hiding? Why can’t this be a year-round beverage? Damn, I love it so much. I may try to stock up this weekend before it goes back to Egg Nog Heaven.  I’m sure it cannot stay fresh for very long though. I just love that thick nutmeggy taste. Is nutmeggy a word? Doubtful. Dammit!! Well it’s in (online) print, so now it’s a word. You’re welcome.

(That’s how my brain works. Dirty Motels. Mmmm, egg nog! No rhyme or reason. Don’t even try. AND DON’T BE DIRTY!!)


4 thoughts on “I’ll Never Understand Motels

  1. You should totally do research on motels! I think that motel is a name we can do without in the hospitality industry. When you say motel people’s faces scrunch up in disgust. They just don’t have substance like hotels, boutique hotels, B&B and even hostels. Plus it wouldn’t hurt to lose a word in our vocabulary. 🙂

  2. But what sounds sleazier than “no-tell motel”? Come ON!

    Best random little motel was where we stayed in Moab, Utah. Skanky little place that must have been built in the 50s or 60s, and when we walked into the room we walked right back out and up to the office to make them at least remove the four DOZEN empty beer bottles.

  3. Ewwww. Motels are gross. I’m totally not researching those anymore. I thought I would be pleasantly charmed but no…I’ll just be skeeved out.

    Moab is a funny word.

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