Arid, Extra Dry

My whole life I have had dry skin.  I have tried every single moisturizer out there. Every body butter. Every cream. And I’m fully convinced that these products are just not made for people with dry skin. REAL dry skin. Not like “Oh I haven’t moisturized in two weeks and I have a date tonight.” No, like I moisturize every day because I HAVE to. If I don’t, I will be in pain.

Yes, I exfoliate. Yes, I scrub. Yes I do all of those things. I would friggin’ rub Crisco on my body if I thought it would combat the scaliness and the flakes. Even after all the special soaps and scrubs I use, I still get flakes. I will never understand it.

I visited a dermatologist a while back and all she had to do was shake my hand. “Atopic dermatitis,” she said. And without even looking, described what the palms of my hands look like. Ever since I was little, I had weird hands. Well I got used to them, but kids would not so lovingly point out that the palms of my hands looked like old people hands. I have a lot of lines on my palms. Deep lines. And yes, I carry moisturizer in my purse for after I wash my hands. Again, if I didn’t moisturize it would HURT.

Back in the late 90’s I took my first trip the Bahamas. It was so beautiful. I’ll be honest though: I’m not much of a beach person. Dry sand and salt water do not equal my friends. But the water….so clear and inviting…I just had to take a dip…

I was only in for a minute maybe, and the salt water just pierced my skin. I literally ran out of the water, told no one where the heck I was going, and kept running along the beach and back up to the resort. Jumped into the pool to wash that nonsense off of me.

Swimming is no fun either. Whether it’s a pond or a pool… I always need some lotion when I get out. And I don’t mean sun tanning lotion. I mean, Lubriderm. It makes any sort of spontaneous skinny dipping highly unlikely.

Traveling sucks too. I always need to check a bag. I can’t do a carry on. Along with having dry skin, I have dry hair. And it’s big curly hair too. So that needs a whole bunch of products. I could never do travel sizes of shampoo and conditioner. That’s a joke. And then don’t forget the huge bottle of lotion I need to bring with me everywhere I travel to. So I’m always checking a suitcase. Hate that. God forbid I’m allowed to take my lotion on board with me. I might make a skin-softening bomb with it. Stupid Terrorists!!

This is why I’ll never be on a show like Survivor. No, not because I’m afraid to live on an island with strangers for a month. No, it’s because I would be stranded without lotion!!! Omg, I would be a cracked up leathery mess by the start of day 2.

Look, don’t get me wrong – It’s not all bad. I do have silky smooth skin in the summer when it’s less dry (like during the dreaded northeastern winters).  And since I have to use a facial moisturizer daily….I barely have any wrinkles.

I just felt like bitching. It really does suck. I’m jealous of all you normal skinned people. Thank your lucky stars that you don’t have my problem!!

Calgon, take me away!


2 thoughts on “Arid, Extra Dry

  1. Funny, because I have very very oily skin (on my face) & nothing helps me either! Absolutely nothing. It’s gross. I hate it. Yet, I get flaky patches & scales (“barnacles,” my dermatologist says) on my back & scalp & she won’t do a damn thing about them. Neutrogena T-Gel helps but not much. Dermatologist says it’s all a part of getting old. Thanks.

  2. What moisturizers do you use? Living in Florida I can keep moist most of the time. I need my humidity! I was miserable visiting my brother in Colorado.

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