That Sure is Some Expensive Pepper

I worked late tonight and then I decided to stop at Walmart on the way home.  Yes, yours truly went into a Walmart.  I have nothing against Walmart, well except, yeah I do. But that is neither here nor there.  They sell cheap stuff, and I needed some cheap stuff.  Walmarts do make me feel dirty thought. And not in a good way.

Nothing makes you feel more like a 99%-er than shopping at Walmart. That’s for sure. Especially when you see this:

Is that an industrial dog food sized bag of generic cereal for under five dollars?

NOTHING makes me sadder than generic cereal. CocoRoos and Honey Buzzers? Can’t you just save up for CocoPuffs and Honey Combs?

So as I was driving home, feeling smug about my ability to afford Cookie Crisp to just flush down my ceramic toilet…when I was came upon a vehicle I have never seen.

Just when you thought that nothing says “I’m the biggest douche in the world” quite like driving a Hummer – Something comes along which says “I’m the biggest douchebag 1%-er in the whole world!!!”

‘Gee. I would really like to drive around in a Porsche to show everyone just how much money I have. But they are impractical with their two seats and all.  And I have kids. So I need the impracticality (I totally made up that word – JMo) of a Porsche smooshed together with the gas guzzling roominess of an SUV. What is out there for me  Mr.  Alistair Mitt McRomneytrumpington??’

Well I’ve seen it.  It’s the Porsche Cayenne Turbo. I looked it up when I got home. And the website tells me that it costs $108,000.

“Does that come with baby seal skin trim?”

And then I started feeling less smug and more like the 99%-er that I am.

WHATEVER! I love my slightly old Ford Escape XLT with a sun/moon roof that costs a fraction of that vehicle. And I love the fact that I can afford brand name cereals.  And…and…oh fuck it.

I’m jealous.  Oh well.

Target doesn’t make me feel dirty,


5 thoughts on “That Sure is Some Expensive Pepper

  1. There’s someone at work with one. I think it’s owned by someone in the O’Donnell family (who own all kinds of buildings on Marina Bay). No, not cute Will. He drives a Jeep.


  2. Some have questioned my truthiness of the FACT that I have NEVER seen a Porsche Cayenne. It is TRUE. I swear. I honestly had NO idea that Porsche even made an SUV. Now I know. And knowing is half the battle (Go Joe!).


Won't you please leave a comment?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s