The R-Word

Seriously, the last thing I want to do is offend someone.  And I know I might, just by what I’m about to write. But I’m trying to explain myself, sort of. Even though I have the right to free speech, I honest to God don’t want you to think that I’m purposely going against your wishes to offend you. But I really do feel like I need to explain myself on why I use the words “retard” and “retarded” even though A LOT of people find it offensive.

Ok, I honestly get why you don’t like it. Kinda. I guess. Wait, hear me out.

I did not grow up in the decades of medical professionals going around using the term “mental retardation.” And honestly, I grew up in a home where my parents weren’t ignorant. They never looked at someone with any sort of condition or handicap and said, “Look at that retard.” THAT NEVER HAPPENED. Not to me, at least. So again, I’m not associating that word with anything. I never really heard it. Probably in movies? Anyway…also, I grew up in Boston. BOSTON, you hear? Not some lame-ass suburb of Boston. We use the word “wicked” in ways most people don’t. And you know what word goes with “wicked”, like peanut butter and jelly?  Yeah, you guessed it:

Wicked retarded!

So I’ve thought so hard of examples, on how I would use the word “retarded” and how it should totally not offend anyone. The same way that “moron” or “idiot” don’t offend people. I mean, I guess they could.. But not really. They are commonplace words now. Interchangeable with “dummy” or “Kardashian.”

Example #1 of how someone can be retarded and/or a retard:

  • Place: Crowded airport on September 11, 2011
  • Friend: “I can’t believe I got all those bombs past security, in my underwear and shoes.”
  • Me: “Dude. What are you, fucking retarded?
  • Friend: “What? What did I say?”
  • Me: “Seriously? Why are you being a retard right now? It’s fucking 9-11 dude. Like the ten-year anniversary and you are joking about bombs in your underwear? Outloud, where people can hear you? That’s wicked retarded, dude. Jesus! Not cool!”

Example #2 of how someone can be retarded and/or a retard:

  • Friend: “Hey, is August the best time to go to Walt Disney World?”
  • Me: “Yeah….if you’re a retard it is”
  • Friend: “What do you mean?”
  • Me: “I mean, if you like waiting in line for Space Mountain for two hours. Yes, TWO hours. Even at 1am. And, oh yeah, love super hot, super humid weather. Including ridiculous spontaneous downpours. Oh and large crowds. From everywhere. Huge amounts of people. And humidity. And bugs. And people. And lines. Ugh. That’s so retarded. No thanks.”

See? It’s just a word, suggesting that someone is “whack” or “illin'”. I swear!

I would never nor would it occur to me to talk about your child, ever in a disrespectful way.

Unless he’s wearing a Yankees cap, then I gotta say “Dude, that’s wicked retarded. Take that off.”

Unrelated: So if tomorrow is America’s birthday…who are the parents? Who birthed us? I guess you could say England and France? I guess. I’m talking after Columbus. So who is the mum and who is the dad? England must be mum right? I bet she has nice hats.

The things I think about,



5 thoughts on “The R-Word

  1. How about this. Do you use other slurs? The N word? Kike? Chink? Spic? Bet not. Yet you use retard(ed). Why is that? Is it because you can (yes), or is it because you’re just trying to prove some silly point (perhaps?) It seems to me that you know that people with disabilities are asking you not to use the word because it marginalizes them. If that’s not enough of an argument for you, I say go ahead and play on an unlevel playing field.


  2. Hannah,

    While I appreciate your comment, I do find it unfair. I JUST got over explaining how I use the word and in no way associate it with someone who had a disability. I find it HILARIOUS that you have NO problem typing out the words “kike” and “spic” but are chastising me for being HONEST. In fact, I do use some of those words. AND I’ve even written about the N-word, in fact I actually type it out. Nigga!! OMG. The world is coming to an end. Oh wait, it’s not. You cannot let words bring you down. Nor can you censor someone because you don’t like it. Sorry. At least I’m coming from an honest place.

    Actually, I’m not even sure a person with disabilities is asking me NOT to use it. Rather the sensitive parents. Who don’t want their child to get hurt. And in case you missed that part, I would never call their child a “retard” just like I wouldn’t call them a “kike.” You know, one of your favorite words.

    I don’t find my points silly. But I find your utterly retarded. 🙂

    Take a chill pill sista. I still can’t believe you busted out with “kike.” Wooooooow Even I don’t go there. Tsk tsk.


  3. Bet not huh? Sorry. Still can’t get over this. You clearly never read anything of mine in the past. Have no idea who I am. And you slam me for being honest. And humble? What a douche. Oh can I use that word? Not sure. And please don’t link to a website that doesn’t actually exist. Lame.


  4. Hello, I guess my dear lady I am what you refer to as a “Kike” in your comment, however outdated that word is. most people under the age of 30 won’t even know what you are referring to unless they have streamed “Porky’s” on Netflix and still won’t truly grasp it. I am proud of my religion and the tradition behind it and one word will not make me cower or flee or feel hate and disgust to those who toss it in my direction. Words are words and only have the power people give them. it is the hatred placed behind them that is wrong. your rush to label the word and not the context to wit if any malice is even behind it. you are a fear monger and relying on what one would liken to a mob mentality. you rush to condemn because you have made yourself the bastion of what is right and wrong, to hell with discussion and what those involved think. the only one making themselves mightier than all others appears to be you.


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