I’m Proud to Say: I Didn’t Build That!!

Wooo!! You’re right Mr. President…I didn’t build roads, or bridges or pergolas. And you’re also right, Mr. Right Wing Crazy Person…I didn’t build a business! Shame on me! Let’s face it…Does the One-Cup business I visited once really make a difference to this world? No. They sell fucking Keurig coffee cups. C’mon! I’ve shopped at Goodwill more times than that store. Yet…they are the job creators? Um, no. They are the coffee brewers. And not even like real percolated coffee. But I digress.

First off, I want to say…NOW I know how Republicans zealots feel when their taxes go to shit like abortions. It drives them crazy! I’ve been driven crazy today to find out that a male inmate, in jail for killing his wife, is allowed to get a sex change AND that my state taxes will go towards that! Argh!! *shakes fist* Damn you liberal America!

Secondly, the RNC wants #AreYouBetterOff to trend on Twitter. Their big thing: Are you better off now than you were four years ago? I guess they want us Americans to say “No. Life sucks now that we have a Muslim black guy who was responsible for 9/11 in office! Booo! I now live in a cardboard box.”  Well guess what? Not only am I not worse off than I was four years ago…

I’m fucking WAY better off than I was four years ago! Yahooooo!

1. I have a way better, safer and cooler car than I did four years ago. (Also American made!)

2. I live in a pretty upscale and fancy apartment (which I did not four years ago) with a walk in closet, a dishwasher (I grew up poor. Our dishwasher was our hands) and a sunken tub. Did I mention that I have a full washer and dryer in my apartment too? Hellz yeah! I didn’t build that!

3. I make more money than I did four years ago.

4. I finally started contributing to my 401K over the past four years.

5. I still have the freedom to vote, to get an abortion, to marry a lady in the state of Massachusetts if I so wished to (I don’t. Sorry ladies!), AND waste money on frivolous stuff like Jiminy Cricket pins (for my collection!).

6. I haven’t been shot in a movie theater (keepin’ those fingers crossed!!).

7. No more war in Iraq and Osama bin Laden is dead! Word!

8. I’ve visited Disneyland twice in the past four years.

9. I can read anything I want, when I want, and freely rant about it on the internet.

10. I have health insurance. A computer. A laptop. Cable TV (like the real package). A TiVo. Tons of shoes. A Blackberry. (Wait, maybe I am worse off than I was four years ago. I don’t have an iPad, and iPhone or an eReader. My life sucks. Thanks a lot Barack Obama.)

So…yeah, I think I am better off than I was four years ago. The stock market is up like 70% since Obama took office. I don’t dabble in the stock market, but I would have to think that all those folks who do, should be thankful!

Yes, I live beyond my means. Am in debt. Still paying of a student loan. But fuck it…I’m in America. That shit is normal. I’m an average American. And guess what…if my tax dollars can go towards helping other people out NOT in the time of crisis….then so be it. Take it. Why do we as Americans only come together after a tragedy like 9/11 or Katrina? Or Haiti? Or whatever? After 9/11 there were lines out the door to donate blood. Do you think it’s still that way? Nope. Guess who is donating blood tomorrow?


Guess who gives money to the ushers at the movie theater when they come around for donations for the Jimmy Fund or Will Rogers Institute?


Listen, there is nothing wrong with helping our fellow Americans. So chillax everyone! I feel like the Dems are the party to do that. That’s all I’m saying.

SERIOUSLY think about it….are you worse off or better off than you were four years ago? Or, maybe just the same?

Four more years,


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