I Hate Your Dog

Dear new puppy owner on my floor,

I’m so happy you decided to adopt or buy a dog. Good for you! However, when it whines and barks (more like chirping. Charking, perhaps.) it’s really fucking annoying to listen to. Trust me. I should know. Because I’m listening to it right now. Do you have a megaphone attached to its collar by any chance? Because, seriously, these walls and doors are pretty thick and I can still hear the charking. And that makes me hate your dog. And I don’t even know it. But I hate it. And I hope it gets loose from  you when you eventually walk it, and a Chinese food restaurant finds him and cooks him for special #5 for lunch.

Now shut it the fuck up!!! God damn it.

Cat lover,




2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. jsuosso
    Nov 12, 2012 @ 22:54:07

    I have been toying with the idea of getting a dog. I work from home so i am thinking i won’t be one of the annoying owners who’s dog drives the neighborhood crazy. After this post I think 8 I need to think it over a bit more


  2. Lia
    Dec 29, 2012 @ 21:44:29

    This is hilarious!


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