Shouldn’t This Be All Over Fox News?!

I’m a democrat.  I have never hidden that fact, but if this your first time to my blog: Welcome! And to get you up to speed, I’m a democrat.

So having said that, I’m perusing TMZ.com while Dateline plays in the background and the story of Rhianna posting a pic on her Instagram of an incredibly huge amount of marijuana. Which, last time I checked, is illegal. Just stating the facts here.

This is real.

This is real.

So why aren’t conservatives more OUTRAGED with Rhianna? Let’s make a GOP checklist:

1. She is not American (i.e. born here and white).

2. She is in possession of illegal marijuana and is boasting about it on the interwebz. Showing it to your kids!!!

3. Her boyfriend is BLACK and beat her face to a bloody pulp. And she stays with him. That hoodlum.

So why isn’t Fox News urging their viewers to storm into their teen daughters room and demand her copy of the Rhianna CD and/or storm into the office to erase the download on her mp3??

Isn’t this girl a bad role model? Tell me…do you think she is an honest to goodness good role model? Because I don’t.  That doesn’t mean that I dislike her in any way. I think what she is doing with Chris is dangerous, but I get it. She’s basically telling the world: “I’m taking a gamble on him. If he does it again, I expect a huge ‘I told you so.'” And that takes balls.  I think she has a good voice and she’s sexy. And rich. So does that mean she can do these NON-conservative things and Fox News won’t cover it?

But what they will cover is how Adele and Kelly Clarkson are fat and bad role models.

Oh Jesus Christ. I think it’s time that we talk about the obese pink elephant in the room.

Pretty skinny people hate fat people. Pretty fat people or ugly fat people. Doesn’t matter. They just hate us ugly people.

And yes, I consider myself a Fat-American. I guess I am coming out of my fat closet of shame and just saying, “Yup, I’m fat. And I totally get why you hate me. And us. I totally get it.”

Skinny people consider all fat people as lazy. Whether or not that is actually true is irrelevant. To them: fatties = lazies.

And oh boy, do skinny people hate fat people, because fat people sleep in. We don’t run on the treadmill.  We’ve never been to a Spin class.  We literally hate dieting. As much if not more than you  hate us fat people.

Ok where was I? Oh yeah, we eat McGriddles with cheese and like them so so much. We could literally eat a cheeseburger everyday and not think twice about it. But know we are AWARE that you are shaming us and we should feel guilty. Like a dog’s nose hit by the newspaper: We know what we did was “wrong”, but it felt really “good” doing it…sooo…I’m sorry, but I’m kinda not. Sort of like masturbation.

I’m sorry, I know I’m just kidding around. But let’s get serious….for some reason the GOP hates gays and fatties. I’m gonna be controversial now and say that I can get why they might be confused or turned off by (male) gay sex. Like, it don’t seem normal, like the square peg can’t fit through the hole. I’m honestly perplexed as to why they hate us fatties? Is it because you hate our bodies? They are gross? But you don’t have to look at me naked, so…chillax.

So Melissa McCarthy is hilarious, making us laugh at the movies and on TV (confession: have never seen one episode of her show), she appears to bathe and dress up and wear appropriate make up when she needs to. So why do people freak out about how fat she is? Adele? I mean, diss her dress, not her dress size. Have you just all woke up from a coma? Or have you not seen Adele before? She was big-boned before, and lo and behold she still is. Not shocking whatsoever. Yet a newsworthy story.  She even had a baby. Like God forbid she didn’t shed the baby weight and all her other gross weight by now. ?????? What the fuck Adele??

It just boggles my mind. To me it’s like mentioning someone was “black” all the time. “Hey, (white person on Fox News anchor), did you see that black Jay-Z at the Grammys? And that black Chris Brown who beat up Rhianna?”

NO, you don’t hear any of that. I don’t think. I don’t go by that channel so I’m not sure what their topic du jour is. But I see snippets on The Huffington Post…They watch the torture and report back to me.

I feel like a ton of fat people live in America. And some of us try to look decent. We really do!! Just like us fatties have uglies, you guys have uglies too. I mean, you do have George Clooney and Ryan Gosling, but we have …I don’t know. There are plus size models who are normal looking and pretty. And I thought Seth Rogen was adorable at a chub chub.

Listen, I just feel like fair is fair. Did you have to do a “news story” (??????) on fat people? Literally that is the story.

They are fat. Discuss Fox Nation. {Reaction: Booo! Stone them!! They ate donuts and fudge today!! How could they?? So gross. You lazy lazy fat ugly people. You are not part of our superior race. The prettier thinner race. Jesus was thin. So are we. You’re gross and fat like Satan.}

Then please do a story on Rhianna and her Instragramed marijuana. Which must be a Federal crime, no? And should INS be involved? And her being with the black abusive boyfriend? GASP!!  Don’t let Muffy, and Taylor, and Sabrina listen to Rhianna. Wal-mart should ban her cd’s. At least consider the topic if illegal drugs and domestic abuse as legit topics. And not because you hate a fat person for getting regular soda and not even diet. Why get diet? You just make fun of us anyway?  So we’ll drink full on HFCS/sugar/totallyunhealthydrink!!!  Wheeee!  Drinking milkshakes never tasted so good. Almost as good as gay sex.

But leave us fatties alone. Jesus. Go hate on someone else would ya?  We get it. You think we are lazy and we smell. Can I give you my lunch money to make you go away now, BULLY?

What will it take?

xojmo

 

2 thoughts on “Shouldn’t This Be All Over Fox News?!

    • That’s my point. They are wasting their breath on someone being overweight. Which isn’t an odd sight nowadays. But never mention Rhianna and her marijuana pics and what not. So frustrating. I’m on the fence about the soda thing in NY. I get it. But it does kind of go against our “freedom.”

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