A long ass time ago, I wrote about a bumper sticker that bugged me.
Today is happened again.
But maybe you can help me. ‘Cuz the reason why it bugged me was because it didn’t make any sense.
There I was…minding my own business in the Disney Mobile and I pulled up to this ridiculousness.
Work. Succeed. Be Happy. Now would these things really annoy a liberal?
Luckily, I didn’t have to look too hard for one…since… I’m a liberal. Or at least a majority of me is…You know, I still dig the Death Penalty and torture of prisoners.
So fine…if the bumper sticker said “Annoy a liberal. Death Penalty. Torture. Sarah Palin.” Then sure… any liberal would be annoyed. But me…I’d be like…What are synonyms, Alex?
Why would I be annoyed if someone worked, succeeded and was happy? Do libs have THAT bad of a reputation, you think we want y’all to live in the squalor of Oliver’s orphanage forever?
Listen people who made this bumper sticker: If you really want to annoy a liberal try this:
Annoy a liberal. Deny Gay Americans the right to marry.
Annoy a liberal. Go buy as many AK-47s at a gun show that you can without a background check after someone shoots a bunch of little kids in their school. And then proceed to buy unlimited amounts of ammo online which is not monitored.
Annoy a liberal. Outlaw abortion like North Dakota did.
Annoy a liberal. Tell ’em they can’t get pregnant from rape!
Annoy a liberal. Deny climate change.
I could go on and on.
By all means…work. Or don’t. Succeed. Or don’t. Be happy. Or sad. WTF do I care?
The great part about being a liberal is that I accept that not everyone is like me, and I’m not like everyone else. We’re all different. And that’s okay.
I’m a Lazy-American. Who happens to work, but really wouldn’t if I could afford to be unemployed. I don’t want someone to judge me because I’m not Donald fucking Trump.
I literally cannot believe that guy liked that bumper sticker enough to display it on his redneck pick up truck.