Just…Be Quiet! No One Knows Who That Is

Today the news had to publicize another celebrity death.

“Chris Kelly dies”

This was me: Oh shit! Did R. Kelly die?”

Wait, who the fuck is Chris Kelly? Did he say Chris Brown?

Only then am I told who the fuck Chris Kelly is.  Much to my dismay, it’s neither Chris Brown nor R. Kelly…but rather to even more dismay – one of the kids that was in Kriss Kross.

Now, for those who don’t know, I love everything 90s: Especially, but not limited to, R&B, rap, pop, alternative and gansta rap.

So, OF COURSE I know who Kriss Kross is.

Don’t try to compare us to another bad little fad
I’m the Mac and I’m bad give you something that you never had
I’ll make ya Jump Jump wiggle and shake your rump
Cause I’ll be kicking the flavor that makes you wanna Jump
How high? Real high
Cause I’m just so fly
A young loveable, huggable type of guy
And everything is the back with a little slack
Cuz inside-out is wiggida wiggida wack
Come on. IF someone doesn’t know this song…then I honestly don’t want to know them.

So on only is this song wiggida wiggida wack, the kids in Kriss Kross…WORE THEIR CLOTHES ON BACKWARDS. ON PURPOSE.

Oi, the two members of Kriss Kross were: kid with little curly dreads, and the other one who didn’t have that hairdo.

So which one was it?

Chris Kelly.

What? Just…be quiet! No one knows who that is! We don’t actually know their names.  Wait, wasn’t one of the “Mack Daddy” and the other “Daddy Mack?”

Wait. Seriously…names? Ok fine. But I didn’t know his name.

And that is kinda sad, right? Because he was so popular with a popular song and no one knew who he was as an artist.

Feel kind bad.

Dear Chris Kelly,

You have a very Irish name. I don’t mean anything by that. Anyway, I heard you died. I’m really sorry to hear that. I wanted to thank you for putting a smile on my face twenty-something years ago. And even today when you come on SiriusXM.  Believe it or not, but you made a difference in my life. You make me sing. You make me smile. You make me laugh. You make me remember fun fucking times.

Honestly – Thank you, Chris Kelly. All I know is that Jesus better be jumpin’ right now.



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