How High feat. Bertouchie’s

I grew up with a father who had a very high IQ.  Who took us to see Macbeth instead of the Bruins.  I was and still am pretty smart. Both book smart and random stuff smart. I never tried to get into Mensa, but I did try to get on Jeopardy.  I didn’t make it on Jeopardy but I blame my n personality and not my IQ.

Recently, I met a guy who shared his IQ with me.  It is 126.  Higher than mine, I will admit, but not by much. At no point did he ever ask me what my IQ is.  Ok.  He then explains that 126 isn’t really that high and it just means he is really smart.

Ok, well considering the average American’s IQ is like 69, I’m pretty happy with my IQ. AND was attracted to his.  Not only is his IQ higher than mine, he just bragged that he was very smart. You have my attention….well not 100%. I had never been in the type of fancy shiny manly truck he be driving and is that a camera in your rear view mirror?!

Listen, long story short – I was leaving his place and he was giving me directions on how to get back to the highway…and he said:

“And then you take a right at Bertucci’s.”

Take a right where now?

Take a right where now?

But he didn’t pronounce it correctly.

I don’t mean to be a bitch about this, but Bertucci’s has been around for decades. It’s a fairly popular chain restaurant. And even if you’ve never eaten there, you probably know of it, and how to pronounce that word.


But not Mr. 126. Oh no…I got “Bertouchie’s.”  And then my brain exploded and imploded at the same time.

Take a right at Bertouchie’s.

And so I come to that mental fork in the road where all of these things happen in my head ALL AT THE SAME TIME:

  • Laugh
  • Give a confused face
  • Ask “What did you just say?”
  • Say “It’s pronounced ‘Ber-too-cheeze!’ Fucking weirdo.”
  • Laugh more
  • Correct him
  • Feel bad for wanting to correct him

Instead, I paused (without losing my shit!!) and said “Oh ok. Thank you for the directions.”

And went on my way.

I had an outloud conversation with myself in my car that night. And it got heated right about the time we got to Bertouchie’s!

Are there people…besides Mr. 126…who pronounce it this way? On purpose? Is there some sub group of people who refuse to speak Italian in anyway and butcher chain restaurant names? Like…anyone?

So just goes to show you…even those with a high IQ can be dumb as shit.

Also, you are not pretty enough to be that dumb, sweetie,


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