Fifty First Tinder Dates: I – Austin

I’m totally cheating on my very first FFTD post because I want to write about a “second date.” Only because it’s a perfect example of the shit that goes on. Also, I use the term “date” very loosely. It’s hard to find a guy who actually wants to take you out on a date OR just buy you a coffee. I’m still holding out for a gentleman, but until then, I will sift through the smoldering debris that is Online Dating.

I had first met Austin, 25, at his place so we could hang and get stoned. Listen, I’m not gonna lie, if these guys want to smoke me up (for free), I would be hard pressed to say no. So you’ll see a common thread here. 🙂

Austin was attractive. Luscious lips. I’m BIG on lips. And I won’t lie: I kissed those lips! We got along even though he said “You feel me?” way too much but who cares? Yeah, Austin, I feel you. Now pass the blunt.

Austin did not live alone. In fact, his roommate was a much older man. But who am I to judge? I never saw this roommate, but I knew he was around. I just hung out in Austin’s room, watching TV and what not.

So, technically, that First Tinder Date was good! I mean, I got no dinner or drinks. But I got to hang with an attractive man and feel good. Success!

At some point in the near future we made plans to hang out again because we both enjoyed each other’s company the first time! I agreed to make the 40 minute drive back to his place (I’m messy and I hate cleaning up for guests) at the time we both decided on.

I’m always punctual. I parked on the street outside his place. I texted: Hey I’m here. Nothing. I didn’t feel comfortable going up to the front door because of said old roommate, so I just hung out in the car waiting for Austin to get back to me.

I texted more. Called, even. A few times. Nothing. But from where I was parked, I could see his room’s window, shade all the way up, and I could see the television was on. That certainly does not mean he is home, or awake for that matter. I was really confused, and figured he passed out or something.

But after 15 minutes and hearing absolutely nothing from Austin, I finally saw the tv channel change in his room, as well as a shadow. So he IS in there!

What the actual fuck?

So, I did the MOST JMo thing ever: I got out of my car, and went right up to the window. It’s on the side of his house, and I can’t see right in, since the window is a bit above my head.

I threw my car keys up against the screen of the window. His window was closed because the air conditioner (in the other window) is on.

Moments later, I see Austin pop up, probably from his bed. He sees me. I see him. And I do the whole come hither thing with my finger, but not in a sexy way. More like, “Yeah um, get your ass over here since we made plans and I’m here and you’ve been ignoring me.”

In what seems like NOT real life, a smirk shows up on Austin’s face, walks over to the window I’m standing under, like a lame Romeo, – and instead of opening it up and saying “Oh man, how long have you been here?” HE PULLS THE SHADE DOWN!


Then walks over to the window with the air conditioner in it, and then pulls the shade down as far as he can there as well.

At my feet, a stray gray cat wondering what I’m doing there. As was I.

I walked back to my car. Tried to reach him again and got nothing.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I mean, I drove all the way there. We’ve already hung out. And he saw me. Saw my face!!

I won’t lie. I cried a lot of my 40 minute drive of shame home. All I could think was, How hard would it have been to text me:

“Hey, don’t come. I hate you now.”

“I’m not home. Sorry, can we reschedule?”

Anything! Even if it was a lie. But I got nothing. It was disrespectful. Embarrassing. Sad. A whole bunch of negative adjectives.

At some point, days later, he tells me that his sister came by with his nephew (I saw neither of these people) and couldn’t hang out. But my thing is: WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST TELL ME? WHY DID YOU LET ME DRIVE ALL THE WAY THERE AND PARK AND WAIT AROUND FOR YOU JUST TO SMIRK IN MY FACE AND PULL THE SHADE DOWN?

Then he offered me $30 (supposedly for the gas I used to get to his place) but it truly just felt like a hooker thing – tossing me a ridiculously small amount of money to shut me up and then try to get me to come by again.

I miss the lips. And the free high. But the shade in my face was such a blatant diss, I cannot bring myself to ever see, or simply trust, Austin again.

Back to sifting,





7 thoughts on “Fifty First Tinder Dates: I – Austin

  1. Even if he wasn’t interested in seeing you again he had like 2x outs by that time. 1) Say you weren’t feeling it the first date 2) Not make plans and cite the reasons. I really don’t see how people can be so pathetic and cold for no reason. I hope you find someone better!


  2. For the record, we made plans to get together the second time days after we first met. Discussed what time was best. So he had hours before I left to tell me not to come. We *just* made plans.


  3. I am so incensed right now I’m practically speechless. As much as I detest liars, this was a time when a lie would’ve been preferable. Sorry you went through that, jmo! Ugh … rude!

    Liked by 1 person

Won't you please leave a comment?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s