Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nein!!

Somehow I ended up on a blast email about Estate Sales. I’ve only been to a couple in my lifetime. But I like to look at upcoming sales: Always keeping an eye out for Disney stuff for the collection.

So, bingo, you guys. Look!

A vintage Mickey Mouse Toy. Cool!

Scroll down. Scroll down. Scroll down.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Scroll up! Scroll up! Scroll up! Scroll up!

What the actual fuck?

Did I completely miss the part about Nazi paraphernalia in the listing?

After ferociously scrolling up, I see it.

A “nice selection of WWII memorabilia.”

A nice selection?

Huh.

This is is a town where 3 people I know live.

I dunno. I feel like there’s an audience for that stuff. Weird to just kind of toss the pics in there like… No biggie. Ever hear of eBay?!

Just give people a head’s up. That’s all I’m saying.

Needless to say I will not be heading to Naziville for Mickey.

If you are wondering, he is vintage and hella creepy.

Pass!

Auf wiedersehen,
Die xojmo

This is Dangerous

You guys. Having the ability to do blog stuff on my phone is wicked convenient but also dangerous. Like right now. Just in from a great night out, filled with a ton of laughs and all that good stuff blah blah blah. 

Now I’m home. Wide awake. Just washed all that makeup off and now I’m just straight up chilling. Thinking that this is a good idea. To just type whatever I want. 

And I’m vaping. Still recovering from the burning ash debacle from two weeks ago. I have this goofy scar thing which is super notable since I’m tan but my … What’s like not a bad burn number? Second degree? Totally not going to look that up. Anyway, I have a pink pot mark right in the middle of my chest! And then I rub at it. It’s a whole thing. 


Ok anyway. Where was I? This is only doable since I downloaded the Swype app for my iPhone. The app sucks. I miss the Swipe keyboard on my old HTC One. That phone ruled. And that swipe keyboard was smart. This one sucks. So if there are any blatant typos it’s the stupid app. And I’m stoned and rubbing my keyboard like a pervert. 

You know what I don’t like? People. But more specifically, people who aren’t real. Who aren’t themselves. Around me. Because what happens is, I end up liking fake you. And real you sucks. Lying jerk. (This is toward no one in particular)

I think I’m totally real with people. I know when to be polite and all that shit but what you see…er… Experience? Yeah. You experience me is what you get. And sometimes it’s boring. Then fast. Then shit goes sideways. I don’t lie about it. It’s a lot. I’m a lot. 

But I’m okay with it. As much as I dislike me, no one loves me more than me. Trust me! Me me me! Haha. But sometimes when I’m with someone I lose me. What happens? Where do I go? Hidden. Worried. I need to be nurtured. 

This is so boring. Sorry to the seven of you that got this in your email and you actually read it.  

I refuse to lose myself over something so stupid. I know what I want. I deserve what I want. I mean, besides the snow white Escalade, I don’t want for much. Okay, one expensive LEGO set. But it’s Disney. And that’s like God to me. You won’t buy me a LEGO set of GOD?! Jesus Christ. 

This kinda went off the rails but I think that’s fun. I love fun. I don’t have enough fun! I love road trips. And surprises. And balloons, for some reason. But not in any weird way. Fucking balloons (Yes, Swype, add “fucking” to the dictionary. Haven’t we already done this already?!). Who even knows that about me? I think my sister does. But literally no one else. And not because I keep it secret.  Sad! 

I want to say so much more, but it would flow so much easier from my fingers on an actual keyboard. And JMo won’t be moving towards the desk anytime soon. And yes I still use a PC. I have a laptop but it’s so hard to type with my nails. Which would look hella fresh on the steering wheel of my ‘lade.     Sorry 

I’m shut off. Of this. But I’m gonna stay up late and watch TV … what a naughty Friday night. 

Not balloon animals, no. Floating balloons. 

xojmo