Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nein!!

Somehow I ended up on a blast email about Estate Sales. I’ve only been to a couple in my lifetime. But I like to look at upcoming sales: Always keeping an eye out for Disney stuff for the collection.

So, bingo, you guys. Look!

A vintage Mickey Mouse Toy. Cool!

Scroll down. Scroll down. Scroll down.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Scroll up! Scroll up! Scroll up! Scroll up!

What the actual fuck?

Did I completely miss the part about Nazi paraphernalia in the listing?

After ferociously scrolling up, I see it.

A “nice selection of WWII memorabilia.”

A nice selection?

Huh.

This is is a town where 3 people I know live.

I dunno. I feel like there’s an audience for that stuff. Weird to just kind of toss the pics in there like… No biggie. Ever hear of eBay?!

Just give people a head’s up. That’s all I’m saying.

Needless to say I will not be heading to Naziville for Mickey.

If you are wondering, he is vintage and hella creepy.

Pass!

Auf wiedersehen,
Die xojmo

Would You Rather…Deux Over

Yesterday when I wrote my blog I felt like a couple of the answers were way too easy. So I randomly picked out another card from the game Would You Rather.  Feel free to discuss your answers in the comments section after reading. But don’t mock my answers…afterall I could only pick ONE of the two options!

First category is Pain | Fear | Discomfort

Question: Would you rather have the web between all of your toes pierced with a large nail OR the flesh on your kneecap cut off with a pair of scissors?

JMo answer: The mere thought of having the flesh on my kneecap cut off with a pair of scissors is enough to make my vomit all over my keyboard.  So by default I have to go with the first option.

Second category is Appearance | Embarrassment.

Question: Would you rather be known as someone who will have sex spontaneously anywhere at anytime OR be known as the kind of person who would never do that?

JMo answer:  Sign me up for sex anywhere at anytime! Woohoo!! (Seriously. Please. I’m not getting any younger.)

Third category is Food | Ingestion.

Question: Would you rather have to eat a raw goldfish (and chew it) OR lick the bottoms of a homeless men’s feet?

JMo answer: Is the goldfish alive? Would I have to feel it flopping around in my mouth a la A Fish Called Wanda (“K-K-Ken’s C-C-Coming to K-K-Kill me!” “Chip UP the nose!” Can you tell I love that movie?) And where is this homeless man living? What if he lives in a clean city like Seattle or something? Oh gosh. I guess I have to go with the goldfish. But I’m truly not sure. DON’T JUDGE ME!

Fourth category is Ethics | Intellect.

Question: Would you rather have a vocabulary limited to 25 words OR have unlimited sign language ability but no ability to speak?

JMo answer: Who am I? Nell?? I’ll take the sign language! Next!

Fifth and last category is Random.

Question: Would you rather keep your left thumb OR give it up for five million dollars?

JMo answer: C’mon. I’m neither left-handed, a chronic hitchhiker, Siskel nor Ebert.  Show me the money!!

I hope these were better (and more shocking) questions and answers. Look for more Would You Rather posts in the future. And feel free to ask JMo your own Would You Rather questions in the comments section!

I give this post one thumb up,

xojmo

Would You Rather…

Many years ago I bought the game “Would You Rather…” I seriously could not tell you how to actually play it because honestly, I just adore the questions it asks and nothing else.  Their answers tell a lot about a person. So I’m more interested in asking people these questions than playing the game. So I had a couple of the cards hanging around my desk, and randomly picked one to write a blog post.  Let’s begin:

First category is Pain | Fear | Discomfort.

Question: Would you rather sleep naked in a 10-foot by 10-foot room with 100 black widows OR ten rattlesnakes?

JMo answer: Ugh. Already I’m stumped. I detest spiders, so by default I have to go with the rattlesnakes. Not that I love rattlesnakes or anything. But the beauty of these questions is that you have to choose one, even when they are both disgusting and hard.

Second category is Appearance | Embarrassment.

Question: Would you rather wear pantyhose pulled over your head, without explanation, the next time you go to do some banking OR wear an “I love Bill Clinton” T-Shirt to the Republican National Convention for the whole day?

JMo answer:  Ok seriously…this is EASY. I do love Bill Clinton. And bitch please – I OWN that shirt already! So fuck yeah I’m wearing it to the RNC for the whole day. PLUS, banking? Who the hell goes into a bank anymore? Any pantyhose?  Stop the madness!

Third category is Food | Ingestion.

Question: If you could only drink one thing for the rest of your life, have it be breast milk OR germ free, but sour, cow’s milk?

JMo answer: UGH! For the rest of my life? Seriously? Drink only one thing? I guess it would have to be breast milk. I keep hearing how super good it is for babies, so at least I’d get some nutrients out of it. Plus, sour cow’s milk? How could one drink that? No way.

Fourth category is Ethics | Intellect.

Question: Would you rather have a scientist make one baby close of you OR never have any biological children at all?

JMo answer: Shit. I should’ve vetted this card before choosing it. Two slam dunks in one card…first I love Bill Clinton. Duh. And now I have to choose between my baby clone or not having any snot-nosed kids at all?  C’mon.  Anyone who reads this blog (and who doesn’t??) already knows what I would answer. If not, please see one of my greatest blog posts of all time. (Ok so trying to add a link and WordPress is being annoying. https://xojmo.wordpress.com/2011/03/14/my-biological-clock-must-be-digital-because-i-dont-hear-it-ticking/  So instead of linking it to text, which is way cooler, I am forced to just throw the link in. Whatever. Go read it!!)

Fifth and last category is Random.

Question: Would you rather kill Winnie the Pooh OR Bambi?

JMo answer: Another fitting question since I’m a Disneyphile. Also, sadly, an easy one. I would kill Pooh in a nanosecond. My goodness, he is annoying. Why can’t Christopher Robin teach him for grammar or spelling??

I will definitely have to revisit the Would You Rather… cards and choose one with harder choices. These seem to be tailored for me. And honestly I would not have chosen it. I don’t think it’s interesting when you can already guess the answers. Sorry to all my peeps! Maybe I’ll do another one later. Why not? It is labor day afterall. I should be laborious. Is that a word? Ah fuck it…too lazy to look it up!

Until next time,

xojmo