Unrelated to the topic at hand, but you know what I love about Canada geese (and yes, it’s Canada and not Canadian, thank you very much), they just don’t give a shit. They’re like the Hell’s Angels of birds. They just go wherever they want. Sit, stand…no difference. Congregate, shit everywhere and just look at you….threatening to charge at you at any moment. I picture them saying in their heads “Oh yeah, you don’t like us on this football field? Tough shit. What are you going to do about it? Nothing, sucka!”
So every time I go to Dunkin Donuts recently I’m bombarded with images of Men in Black. New donuts! A new iced coffee! I usually just take my iced tea and skulk out of there, sneaking glances at this new beverage advertisement (please amuse me by pronouncing that in the Queen’s English. Thank you). And one day I thought, “Gee whiz!! Tomorrow I’m going to buy me one of those.”
Yes, tomorrow. Because at that time, I wasn’t ready. I needed to do my homework. What is that Black Cocoa Creme Iced Coffee besides racially insensitive, obvs?
Let PR Newswire tell me what it’s all about:
“With the taste of cookies and cream?” Really? What exactly does that taste like? What kind of cookies? Oreos? Chocolate Chip? Those yummy chocolate cookies with the sugar all over them made by Archway?
Unknown. But I asked the girl who was handing me my iced tea (when I wasn’t ready for an out of this world coffee) “Hey, how is that Men in Black coffee?”
Her: “I’ve never tried it. But a lot of customers love it. It’s already pre-sweetened so you don’t need to add any sugar or anything. All it is is a pump of our mocha and a pump of the caramel.”
I was intrigued. And looked forward to the next day when I would finally get my Black Cocoa on.
Here’s what I expected:
(Time out. Sorry. I’ll get back to your regularly scheduled blog post, but you know when you say words over and over again, even in your head, and then they start to sound weird?And even look weird? That is what’s happening with the word “cream” right now. Not to mention the R rated connotation. Cream. Tastes like cookies n’ cream. I’ll have to remember to tell the gents that. Ha!)
Here’s what I got:
Couldn’t they have shaken it up a little more? All the chocolate was sitting at the bottom. That’s one good thing about Starbuck’s – those fuckers know how to shake up their beverages.
My review: Two Galatical Thumbs Up! I enjoyed it. Will probably get it again. And now I know the secret combo of squirts (yeast, cream and squirts. Jesus.) so whence this beverage is no longer for purchase at Dunkin’ Donuts, I can still get it.