Only Me

“Happy Valentine’s Day”

That’s what the text said. A blast from my past. A welcomed one, to be terribly honest.

And I foolishly answered and found out he was leaving to go to Walt Disney World.

On Valentine’s Day.

I never asked with whom or why. I wished him a great trip.

We’ve been in touch since. It’s been nice.

But you know…Facebook.  Those profiles beckon.

And you look. Rather, I looked. No beating around the bush. I looked even though I promised myself I wouldn’t.

My only question is: Why?

Why text me and wish me a Happy Valentine’s Day? Right before you head off to MY happiest place on Earth with some other girl.

And not me.

Happy Valentine’s Day indeed.

Happy to see it was well documented. Looks like it was a magical time. Bunch of restaurants I’ve never been to.

So let’s see….My ex-husband took his pregnant mistress to Walt Disney World on what would have been our ONE year anniversary. And I know this because he had the travel agent send the travel itinerary to me.

And the boy I liked and then fucked it up a little…yeah I did. But I thought he was coming around and maybe forgetting that I’m a crazy wench. And thinking of me…on Valentine’s day.

And perhaps he was. Maybe he just couldn’t bring himself to rub it in my face. I guess, for that…I should be grateful.

Only me.

Eat your heart out, Taylor Swift. You ain’t got nothing on me in the boy department.




Would You Rather…Deux Over

Yesterday when I wrote my blog I felt like a couple of the answers were way too easy. So I randomly picked out another card from the game Would You Rather.  Feel free to discuss your answers in the comments section after reading. But don’t mock my answers…afterall I could only pick ONE of the two options!

First category is Pain | Fear | Discomfort

Question: Would you rather have the web between all of your toes pierced with a large nail OR the flesh on your kneecap cut off with a pair of scissors?

JMo answer: The mere thought of having the flesh on my kneecap cut off with a pair of scissors is enough to make my vomit all over my keyboard.  So by default I have to go with the first option.

Second category is Appearance | Embarrassment.

Question: Would you rather be known as someone who will have sex spontaneously anywhere at anytime OR be known as the kind of person who would never do that?

JMo answer:  Sign me up for sex anywhere at anytime! Woohoo!! (Seriously. Please. I’m not getting any younger.)

Third category is Food | Ingestion.

Question: Would you rather have to eat a raw goldfish (and chew it) OR lick the bottoms of a homeless men’s feet?

JMo answer: Is the goldfish alive? Would I have to feel it flopping around in my mouth a la A Fish Called Wanda (“K-K-Ken’s C-C-Coming to K-K-Kill me!” “Chip UP the nose!” Can you tell I love that movie?) And where is this homeless man living? What if he lives in a clean city like Seattle or something? Oh gosh. I guess I have to go with the goldfish. But I’m truly not sure. DON’T JUDGE ME!

Fourth category is Ethics | Intellect.

Question: Would you rather have a vocabulary limited to 25 words OR have unlimited sign language ability but no ability to speak?

JMo answer: Who am I? Nell?? I’ll take the sign language! Next!

Fifth and last category is Random.

Question: Would you rather keep your left thumb OR give it up for five million dollars?

JMo answer: C’mon. I’m neither left-handed, a chronic hitchhiker, Siskel nor Ebert.  Show me the money!!

I hope these were better (and more shocking) questions and answers. Look for more Would You Rather posts in the future. And feel free to ask JMo your own Would You Rather questions in the comments section!

I give this post one thumb up,