Sorry, just one more thing…

Anyone out on the interwebz and beyond who claims to be a feminist, a liberal, a progressive, you love gay cakes, #MeToo, #NeverAgain, pussy hats, et cetera

Any of you who joked about, put down, cut down and/or slut-shamed Kim Kardashian West

GIVE IT A FUCKING REST

Hasn’t it been long enough? Ok, she had the blow job thing with Ray J, but who is more famous? Richer? Sexier? She has built her career, her family, into this all encompassing pop culture yet political sphere.

I, unfortunately, have nothing in common with Kim. I wish I did! Her waist is tiny. She has professional hair and make up people. A brand! An equally famous husband, who I think kinda made Kim cool, I feel like she has some cred. Oh, yeah, and she is a multi-year millionaire!!

What else do you want from her? To go to dental school?! Find the cure for HPV or HIV? Whatever. Which one’s worse?

Give it a rest. It’s all I’m asking. She helped, yes helped(!), get that woman out of jail. Regardless of the weird ass, reality TV road that got us all here…

She truly has MADE something of herself.

She made a bad mistake once – on film. Ok maybe more. But c’mon. A lot of us should be thankful the world wide web didn’t exsist when we were in high school/college and most of our “girls on film” momemts sit dormant on 35mm, or 110 or disc(?) collecting dust.

Can’t we all just get along? Look at what we are up against! Give credit where credit is due.

Please. She turned out okay, alright?

Try giving her compliment. Go ahead.

Ok. That’s it. I just needed to do that girl power wonder woman thing!

Truly outrageous,

jmo

Hear Me Roar

I have a few female friends who would never attempt to do anything that a “man should do.”

I don’t have the luxury of having a dad, brother or boyfriend so I’m left to either HIRE someone or just do it myself.

And I’ll tell ya…there is something awesome about doing something you’ve never done before and accomplishing it.

I’ve put together several pieces of furniture (some of which were quite intricate and may have taken me three times, but I did!), I visit self-serve at the gas station (and yes I know people who do not pump their own gas and will keep driving to find full serve), I hang pictures, I fix things – you name it, I’ve probably done it. Not because I wanted to really, but because I had no choice.

A couple of weeks ago I bought a satellite radio which I’ve wanted for a really long time. I took one look at the direction on how to install the antenna and was a little intimidated.  I asked my cousin to do it, who was more than willing, but our schedules have never been free at the same time.

So today, in the heat, I sucked it up and decided to try…no, DO it myself .

I drive an SUV (Not a Porsche SUV in case you were wondering. And since I’m keeping count, I saw another one just today. Not a Turbo though. Cheap bastard.) and there is a specific place I’m supposed to put the antenna. Which truly isn’t the issue. THAT I can handle….

It’s the wire thingy that I’m supposed to snake through the cabin of my car.  Huh? What? There’s a picture, and they use words I’m not really sure about. Again, not an expert when it comes to my car. I can put gas in it and fill up my windshield wiper fluid. But other than that, don’t expect to see me on the side of the road changing a flat or anything.

So I’ve been putting this off because I’m like “How am I supposed to get the wire from the back, into the front without it looking ghetto?”

Today I was all like “Fuck it. Let’s do this!”

Immediately realizing I can’t actually see or touch the top of my car sent me straight back up into my apartment and I gathered some things:

1. A step stool

2. Black electrical tape

3. Scissors

4. Flat head screwdriver

5. Flip flops (Hey I was still wearing shoes from the Mother’s Day brunch I attended)

I won’t lie…it took some trial and error. It was probably a pure comedy show for any neighbors looking out their window. But in the end, I DID it. I don’t know if this is HOW I was supposed to properly do it, but it was my first time, and in my opinion did not look ghetto.

I got the radio all hooked up and working. EUREKA!

I sat in the front seat, sweaty and dirty (from hugging my pollen covered car for an hour) listening to commercial free music.

With a huge shit-eatin’ grin on my face.

I am woman. Hear me roar.

Ladies, what have you done without a man’s help (keep it clean, please!! I have an imagination thank you!) that made you feel AWESOME after you were done?

xojmo