Oh, No She Did…Didn’t? Should I Not Have Said That? And Should I Care?

Dude, longest title ever!

Anyway, it’s 2015.  I am planning on writing more. I haven’t been inspired recently.  But maybe I hadn’t been looking. So, let’s get into it straight away!  (Now I think I want to speak more Britishy from now on.)

Recently, a story, or rather, a picture showed up online of Malia Obama.  She appears to be a cool, normal looking teenager.

Of course it got a lot of press.  At least she wasn’t standing on her dog! Sidetrack, sorry. Anyway, caught a story on Facebook about exactly what I thought…cool, normal looking teenager.

So I immediately shared it and wanted to write: “Of course, she’s part white.” Or, “That’s the white girl in her!” To be funny.  As a joke.  Like how someone finding out that a half black/half white man had an above average sized penis, he would say “Yeah, that’s cuz he’s half black.”  C’mon! You know they would.

But I didn’t write that. Because I froze.  I actually texted a friend for her opinion but haven’t heard back. So that’s why I’m here. I had to share. (I’m also mortified that I care so much.)

Why didn’t I write that? I was afraid that I would hurt someone’s feelings or worse…be thought of as racist! I don’t really care because I’m not. But then again I just saw an article about how we are 3 times more racist than we think we are.

Oh crap. Really?  I honestly cannot claim to be 0% racist.  No one ever could. But let’s say I’m 1% racist. I think I’m 1% racist, ergo, I’m really 3% racist.

I think I can live with that. Live together in perfect harmony stuff… yeah.

But I get censored around Facebook.  A woman once unfriended me because when the photos of the Boston Marathon bombers came out, people were shouting about Muslim, but to me, I said, they looked Eastern European, like Ukrainian or Grecian.

Well she is Greek. And she let me know how disgusted she was and I was sort of flabbergasted. Because I wasn’t derogatory. I was just guessing.  Believe me, I’ve been around enough dark-haired men of different origins to gently squint my eyes at a blurry photo and go… Yup, that’s the Armenian Tom Cruise, remember him? Or whatever.

You guys gotta tell me:  If I said – Malia is cool cuz she’s a white girl. Duh.   Is that racist? If yes, why? Please see my example above about dicks.

I prefer Rudolph’s Shiny New Year over the original Christmas episode. Discuss.


This is Complete and/or Utter Bullshit

Tonight is the Boston Strong Concert.  Sold out in minutes. Going to be streaming live on the internet.

But for some reason…NOT GOING TO BE TELEVISED.

I’m sorry. But this is complete bullshit.  We have sat through concerts/benefits to raise money on TV for years!!

9/11, Haiti, Sandy, Oklahoma.

Can someone explain to me why this could not be a televised fundraiser for One Fund?

It’s a simple question.

I’m so bummed and insulted and angry.  Listen, I’ve already donated to One Fund many times over.  I already know how to donate. So technically I don’t need this show to do so.  But it would nice to see ALL the amazing talent that have come out of Boston ALL on one stage.

Oh well. Thanks for nothing liberal media.

(Hey, I needed to blame someone since I do not know whose fault this is)


PS. Where the fuck is New Edition??

“Mr Telephone Man, there’s something wrong with my line. When I dial my baby’s number, I get a click every time.”


Where Will You Be?

Today my city was attacked.

Patriot’s Day in Boston.  It’s Marathon Monday. Red Sox afternoon game. Lots of people who don’t have work or school. Sunny day. They gathered in Boston. So much to celebrate. Plenty of smiles. Children on the shoulders of their dads. Waves. Cheers. Hugs. Balloons. Flags Crossing the finish line – tears of joy.

A moment later…terror. World turned upside down. No more tears of joy; tears of sadness and horror.

So far, 3 people dead. One a child.  Over a 140 seriously injured.  Limbs gone. Sidewalk stained with blood.

I sat at my desk in work…and my heart was in my throat.  My city – Boston! I grew up there.  Only moved away a few years ago.  I touched my monitor screen, as if it were right in front of me. Reaching out – wanting to help, but nowhere near them. No. No…no…no. Please God…no! This cannot be happening. Not in my city.

Two explosions. The irony of people running in all directions along the route to the Finish Line of the Boston Marathon.

What are the odds that the families of the Newtown victims would be sitting at the Finish Line of the Boston Marathon when two bombs go off? Seriously…what are the odds of that?  Haven’t they been through enough, Fate?

Listen, it’s not about guns anymore. It’s not about bombs anymore. It’s about terror and murder.

Some don’t really understand why I don’t want to have kids. There are a plethora of reasons – genetics, annoyance, world overpopulation…but honestly…one of the reasons..what kind of world is this? Why would I subject someone to this?

Want to meet your congresswoman at the local supermarket in broad daylight? You could be murdered.

Excited about seeing a new movie at midnight at your local theater? You could be murdered.

Learning your ABC’s at school? You could be murdered.

Studying for your Chemistry 101 final? You could be murdered.

Flying in a plane to California? You could be  murdered.

Riding the train? You could be murdered.

Shopping for shoes at the mall? You could be murdered.

Enjoying a sunny spring day after watching the Red Sox win and now cheering your friend on while he runs the historic Boston Marathon? Yup, you could be murdered.

Doesn’t it seem like you have a really good chance of being killed just doing everyday normal things?!

Doesn’t that bother you?

Doesn’t that scare you?

That scares the shit out of you.  I suffered from severe anxiety after 9/11.  I was afraid of my train being gassed or bombed underground.

An 8-year old boy died on Boylston Street today.

My nephew is 8 years old. Should I never take him to the city? Should I never take him to the movies? Should I never let him go to school?

Of course not.

But please know…please understand…this is our life now.

There is no rhyme.  There is no reason. You don’t have to be in a gang. You don’t have to be in the mob. You don’t have to be a in a drug deal gone wrong.

You just have to be watching a marathon, meeting you congresswoman, eating popcorn at the movies, trying to color with crayons between the lines…and it can happen.

Don’t you feel like it will happen?

It’s only a matter of time before your Lucky Life Russian Roulette is going to land on the empty chamber.

Think about it.

I do.

Where will I be?

KFC?  A dog park?  Disneyland?  The beach?  Tying my shoe at the Museum of Fine Arts?  Toys R Us a week before Christmas?  Standing outside the window at the Today show?  Having lunch with my mom?  Holding the hand of my nephew as we watch the runners reach for the Finish Line of the 117th Boston Marathon?

Where will you be?

Boston you’re my home. I love you.




Countdown to Boston Comic Con: It’s On!

Ok… Boston Comic Con opens up one week from today.  Due to a prior work thing (ugh) on that Saturday, I will have to attend the Sunday session of Comic Con. I’ve never been to a Comic Con, but why do I feel like all the fun stuff will happen on Saturday? Plus spontaneous “Let’s go get beers, Jedi Knights!” might break out on a Saturday. We shall see.

So in order to get ready for Operation: Get a Date at Boston Comic Con, I stopped by Newbury Comics to find the perfect “Look at me, I’m a nerd!” shirt.  Unfortunately, I was very much unimpressed with their selection. Tomorrow I will check both Kohl’s and Target. They usually have fun, vintage-looking nerd shirts.

If you are planning to be at the Boston Comic Con on Sunday AND you want a date….hit me up. Otherwise I will be trolling my ass through there looking for a man to pounce on. Meow!

Wish me luck,


Make a New Plan, Stan (Lee)!

I’m constantly wondering how I can meet guys.  I haven’t been on a date in a dog’s age (whatever that length of time is….) and I’m just annoyed by the whole thing. Look, I know I’m no Beauty Contest winner (collect $10) but I’m okay…and I’m funny…and smart…and have a great personality.  Oh shit, I’m fuckered.

Last week, after watching The Walking Dead, I started watching Comic Book Men for the first time. I loved it!! I loved it so much I decided to catch up on the show On Demand. And honestly, I’m totally attracted to these guys. I LOVE when men get excited and giddy about comic books and toys. I can’t explain it. Walter is my favorite.  But before I was able to jump in my car and head on down to NJ, I found out he was married. WTF!! Wicked pissed about that.

Hmm. So I started thinking…. YES about how to meet guys. I needed a plan on how to meet guys. Specifically guys who like comics and toys… And it came to me:  COMIC CON!!

Listen, I know NOTHING about Comic Con. I thought there was only ONE Comic Con is California every year. But guess what? There are Comic Cons all over the place. And one short Google Search for “Comic Con Boston 2012” got me the answer to my question. Yes, there is a Boston Comic Con this year, and I haven’t missed it AND it’ s not that far away! Woohoo!

So you might be saying “JMo, what about the Disney D23 Expo you’ve gone to twice already and you haven’t met anyone there, right?” (Look, just pretend you asked that okay?) My answer would have to be “Yeah but all the cute guys there were gay!” And it was true.  Forget about Tink… think Twink!! (My sister won’t get that. K – DON’T LOOK THAT UP OKAY? TRUST ME. I’ll explain it to you another time.)

So D23 was a bust. But at Comic Con there has to be single guys looking for girls right? Maybe? I’m going to try it out. I’ve been telling folks about my plan and have been asked twice “Are you going to dress up in costume?”

Dude, WTF. Seriously. No!! The only costume that a woman should wear to a geek fest like that is Slave Princess Lea and um, yeah…JMo can’t pull that off. At all. So then what is left? Should I go as a Wookie? Or Jem? Ooooh, Jem. She is truly outrageous…

Anyway…no costume. Just me. Trolling Boston Comic Con for dudes. Can you even imagine?  This should be more fodder for this blog if nothing else.

Hey, wish me luck. And if you plan on being at Boston’s Comic Con and you are a single straight dude who is taller than 5’9″…let me know!

Oh a few criteria: I prefer Star Wars over Star Trek. Like immensely.  I truly know nothing about ST but did see the Star Trek movie that JJ did and that’s only because Zachary Quinto is HOT HOT HOT!! Spock me!!

I think that is my only criteria. Must Love Star Wars.

Who wants to bet I (Empire) strike (s Back) out at Boston Comic Con? HAHA!!


Update: I was just told by a comic book geek that comic book geeks think they can get with porn star looking chicks and booth babes. Is this true? What the hell? I’m so screwed. Listen, you sweaty 34 year old who still lives at home playing D&D in the basement…You’re not gonna get those chicks. You just aren’t. So you better just take me out to Chili’s and like it, okay?