JMo Reviews a Girlie Product!

Listen, I know it’s been a while. And this post might be shit, but look….I don’t have a muse. I haven’t been inspired. It’s like the same old shit, same old day.  I’m not ALWAYS like that. But recently it’s been a big ol’ “meh” when it comes to blogging.  But I miss it.

Ok, before my review….short of Hillary Clinton saying “Yeah I wanted everyone dead in Benghazi,” WHAT will make the GOP happy at the end of their little investigation?  Ooops. It happened. It sucks. A few Americans died. Guess what? Americans die here everyday. Wait, no, NOT at my house!! Gosh!

As you may know, or not, I’m not a gun person.  I find the 2nd Amendment to be … ridiculous.  AWESOME back in the day of our founding fathers. Not so awesome now that silly people like me are scared to go anywhere fearing that stupid people with guns will shoot me.

One of the bullshit lines I get from the NRA nuts is “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.”  Ok, well we obviously can’t control people, so how about those guns? You know…the WEAPONS that were specifically designed to kill you.  They aren’t stunners, they aren’t pepper spray.  They are guns, weapons, with bullets that will mostly likely kill you…cuz that’s like, its job. You know, that’s why you go to war with guns and not knives.

Ok, people kill people. But with a gun? Right? Cuz why aren’t I getting that argument? It’s like saying “Sail boats don’t kill people. People kill people.”  Really? Tell that to Yong Sun.

Anyway, someone on a social media site literally said “Guns solve problems.”  Meaning, I surmised, the problem of rape.  Since that was the topic at hand.

And then smoke blew out of my ears and my eyeballs fell out of my skull.

I’m sorry, now, guns don’t kill people (duh) but they do solve problems??

Guns: The Rhodes Scholar of weapons.

Why do they get to say stupid shit like that? But every time I point out ANOTHER mass shooting, I get “JMo, guns don’t kill people….” Oh shut the fuck up.

For the record, I DON’T know the answer to the gun problem.  I’m not against taking them all away from the crazies (cuz we’re all crazy in America), and yes, by Crazies I mean Everyone.

But I know that isn’t popular. So…now what? We do nothing? And allow the “normal gun lovers” to shoot us at the movie theater, Walmart, church, school, restaurants.  You know, pretty much anywhere.

How about you keep your killing machines locked away in a safe? Don’t leave it lying around for little Johnny to find and shoot his three-year old cousin. Accidentally of course. But these types of accidents kill people. Unlike, you know…spilled milk.

And only shoot them at the shooting range. And don’t mosey into Chipotle with your AK-47 strapped around you. You look like an asshole at Comic-Con.  Or my worse nightmare…a person with a gun!!!

Guns don’t solve problems. People solve problems,

xojmo

P.S. Neutrogena Makeup Removing Cleaning Towelettes – Night Calming are awesome.  I hate washing my face at night, and while I’m convinced that’s why I’m still mostly wrinkle free at my age, I really should take the makeup off. To top it off, I do use Waterproof mascara. I cry a lot, okay??

So it works on waterproof makeup. It took all my makeup off. And I didn’t have to use any water or soap! Score!!

 

 

Countdown to Boston Comic Con: It’s On!

Ok… Boston Comic Con opens up one week from today.  Due to a prior work thing (ugh) on that Saturday, I will have to attend the Sunday session of Comic Con. I’ve never been to a Comic Con, but why do I feel like all the fun stuff will happen on Saturday? Plus spontaneous “Let’s go get beers, Jedi Knights!” might break out on a Saturday. We shall see.

So in order to get ready for Operation: Get a Date at Boston Comic Con, I stopped by Newbury Comics to find the perfect “Look at me, I’m a nerd!” shirt.  Unfortunately, I was very much unimpressed with their selection. Tomorrow I will check both Kohl’s and Target. They usually have fun, vintage-looking nerd shirts.

If you are planning to be at the Boston Comic Con on Sunday AND you want a date….hit me up. Otherwise I will be trolling my ass through there looking for a man to pounce on. Meow!

Wish me luck,

xojmo

Make a New Plan, Stan (Lee)!

I’m constantly wondering how I can meet guys.  I haven’t been on a date in a dog’s age (whatever that length of time is….) and I’m just annoyed by the whole thing. Look, I know I’m no Beauty Contest winner (collect $10) but I’m okay…and I’m funny…and smart…and have a great personality.  Oh shit, I’m fuckered.

Last week, after watching The Walking Dead, I started watching Comic Book Men for the first time. I loved it!! I loved it so much I decided to catch up on the show On Demand. And honestly, I’m totally attracted to these guys. I LOVE when men get excited and giddy about comic books and toys. I can’t explain it. Walter is my favorite.  But before I was able to jump in my car and head on down to NJ, I found out he was married. WTF!! Wicked pissed about that.

Hmm. So I started thinking…. YES about how to meet guys. I needed a plan on how to meet guys. Specifically guys who like comics and toys… And it came to me:  COMIC CON!!

Listen, I know NOTHING about Comic Con. I thought there was only ONE Comic Con is California every year. But guess what? There are Comic Cons all over the place. And one short Google Search for “Comic Con Boston 2012” got me the answer to my question. Yes, there is a Boston Comic Con this year, and I haven’t missed it AND it’ s not that far away! Woohoo!

So you might be saying “JMo, what about the Disney D23 Expo you’ve gone to twice already and you haven’t met anyone there, right?” (Look, just pretend you asked that okay?) My answer would have to be “Yeah but all the cute guys there were gay!” And it was true.  Forget about Tink… think Twink!! (My sister won’t get that. K – DON’T LOOK THAT UP OKAY? TRUST ME. I’ll explain it to you another time.)

So D23 was a bust. But at Comic Con there has to be single guys looking for girls right? Maybe? I’m going to try it out. I’ve been telling folks about my plan and have been asked twice “Are you going to dress up in costume?”

Dude, WTF. Seriously. No!! The only costume that a woman should wear to a geek fest like that is Slave Princess Lea and um, yeah…JMo can’t pull that off. At all. So then what is left? Should I go as a Wookie? Or Jem? Ooooh, Jem. She is truly outrageous…

Anyway…no costume. Just me. Trolling Boston Comic Con for dudes. Can you even imagine?  This should be more fodder for this blog if nothing else.

Hey, wish me luck. And if you plan on being at Boston’s Comic Con and you are a single straight dude who is taller than 5’9″…let me know!

Oh a few criteria: I prefer Star Wars over Star Trek. Like immensely.  I truly know nothing about ST but did see the Star Trek movie that JJ did and that’s only because Zachary Quinto is HOT HOT HOT!! Spock me!!

I think that is my only criteria. Must Love Star Wars.

Who wants to bet I (Empire) strike (s Back) out at Boston Comic Con? HAHA!!

xojmo

Update: I was just told by a comic book geek that comic book geeks think they can get with porn star looking chicks and booth babes. Is this true? What the hell? I’m so screwed. Listen, you sweaty 34 year old who still lives at home playing D&D in the basement…You’re not gonna get those chicks. You just aren’t. So you better just take me out to Chili’s and like it, okay?