JMo Reviews a Girlie Product!

Listen, I know it’s been a while. And this post might be shit, but look….I don’t have a muse. I haven’t been inspired. It’s like the same old shit, same old day.  I’m not ALWAYS like that. But recently it’s been a big ol’ “meh” when it comes to blogging.  But I miss it.

Ok, before my review….short of Hillary Clinton saying “Yeah I wanted everyone dead in Benghazi,” WHAT will make the GOP happy at the end of their little investigation?  Ooops. It happened. It sucks. A few Americans died. Guess what? Americans die here everyday. Wait, no, NOT at my house!! Gosh!

As you may know, or not, I’m not a gun person.  I find the 2nd Amendment to be … ridiculous.  AWESOME back in the day of our founding fathers. Not so awesome now that silly people like me are scared to go anywhere fearing that stupid people with guns will shoot me.

One of the bullshit lines I get from the NRA nuts is “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.”  Ok, well we obviously can’t control people, so how about those guns? You know…the WEAPONS that were specifically designed to kill you.  They aren’t stunners, they aren’t pepper spray.  They are guns, weapons, with bullets that will mostly likely kill you…cuz that’s like, its job. You know, that’s why you go to war with guns and not knives.

Ok, people kill people. But with a gun? Right? Cuz why aren’t I getting that argument? It’s like saying “Sail boats don’t kill people. People kill people.”  Really? Tell that to Yong Sun.

Anyway, someone on a social media site literally said “Guns solve problems.”  Meaning, I surmised, the problem of rape.  Since that was the topic at hand.

And then smoke blew out of my ears and my eyeballs fell out of my skull.

I’m sorry, now, guns don’t kill people (duh) but they do solve problems??

Guns: The Rhodes Scholar of weapons.

Why do they get to say stupid shit like that? But every time I point out ANOTHER mass shooting, I get “JMo, guns don’t kill people….” Oh shut the fuck up.

For the record, I DON’T know the answer to the gun problem.  I’m not against taking them all away from the crazies (cuz we’re all crazy in America), and yes, by Crazies I mean Everyone.

But I know that isn’t popular. So…now what? We do nothing? And allow the “normal gun lovers” to shoot us at the movie theater, Walmart, church, school, restaurants.  You know, pretty much anywhere.

How about you keep your killing machines locked away in a safe? Don’t leave it lying around for little Johnny to find and shoot his three-year old cousin. Accidentally of course. But these types of accidents kill people. Unlike, you know…spilled milk.

And only shoot them at the shooting range. And don’t mosey into Chipotle with your AK-47 strapped around you. You look like an asshole at Comic-Con.  Or my worse nightmare…a person with a gun!!!

Guns don’t solve problems. People solve problems,

xojmo

P.S. Neutrogena Makeup Removing Cleaning Towelettes – Night Calming are awesome.  I hate washing my face at night, and while I’m convinced that’s why I’m still mostly wrinkle free at my age, I really should take the makeup off. To top it off, I do use Waterproof mascara. I cry a lot, okay??

So it works on waterproof makeup. It took all my makeup off. And I didn’t have to use any water or soap! Score!!

 

 

Awesomistic

Happy New Year!!  Suck it Mayans! We’re all still here. And we still have the right to buy assault weapons at gun shows without an ID or a permit. Yee ha! God bless America.

Where was I? Oh right. The new year. Well as you know, it’s time for me to get jiggy with optimism. And I started today. It wasn’t so bad. Felt weird. Then I asked the niece and nephew if they knew what “Optimism” meant. So I explained it to them. And my nephew said, “I’m omnamistic that I have a crack in my butt.” Yes you do! But that’s not optimism!! So I explained it once again. And then he mangled the words a few more times, and then I swear he said “awesomistic.”

And so….of course I love that. I’m not just going to be optimistic in 2013. I’m going to be AWESOMISTIC!

I mean, why not? Being pessimistic didn’t really get me anywhere. I mean, I’m a realist, so duh! But otherwise….time to look upwards and onwards. I’m really excited in finishing my book by the first half of the year. Oh yeah, I set a deadline.

I’M OPTIMISTIC! Remember?

So yeah….woohhoooo! This is going to be the best year yet. And even if it’s not, I have like 7 months to plan my next trip to Anaheim for the 3rd D23 Expo! Now that’s awesomism.

Remember I still need some fantasy ideas….so email me at jmo@xojmo.com

Oh P.S. – Kim K is preggo with Kanye’s baby? Can you even IMAGINE Kim Kardashian as a pregnant woman?? NO WAY! This should be funny. Also, for whatever reason I find it HILARIOUS that Kris Humphries won’t give her a divorce. And you know he must know some dirt on her, otherwise why wouldn’t she just let her lawyers BURY him? This should be good.

Ok that’s all for now… here’s looking at you, 2013.

xojmo