Jumping Off the Deep End

This meme is in jest. Because, seriously, A Star is Born wrecked me emotionally. I never saw nor knew anything about the other versions except, “Wasn’t that a movie with Kris Kristofferson?” And while I love Gaga AND Bradley Cooper (Alias Alum, hello?!) I had not a lot of interest in seeing this movie. But a friend of mine wanted to see it, so there I was. And I was NOT prepared for the overwhelming emotions (see: sobbing. And for the record, I am not a huge crier at movies. Movies are fake.) I was going to experience. And not just me, even. I think my whole row was also crying, one woman I did not know, three seats down, sounded like I felt inside…loud, uncontrollable heaving type sobbing. I hate to reuse the word ‘sobbing’ again because there are so many impeccable words in my language, but it’s what it was. I had napkins and tissues, some already used, strewn about my lap and purse. Alternating between stuffing them under my eyes as tears gushed down my face (farewell decent makeup job). And just covering my whole entire face, blocking the screen as if it were a horror movie. My whole body jerked as I sat there, knowing full fucking well that THAT is Lady Gaga (pointing) and HE is Bradley Cooper (points over there) and they are not Ally and Jackson, so why the fuck am I crying like this? Because life. Life is hard for some people. I know because it’s been hard for me sometimes, okay, a lot. And seeing Jackson close that garage door fucking stabbed me right in the heart. I cry now just writing about it.

(Spoilers, like Winter, is coming)

If you are #depressed and have struggled with thoughts of #suicide at any point in your life, this movie may #trigger you. I realized it had nothing to do with Bradley or Jackson. The metaphor, purposeful or not, was perfect: Jackson shuts out the world because the pain and suffering was too much to LIVE WITH anymore. And what he did inside, unfathomable to most, is what made the most sense to him. To end that pain. His life. While Charlie (Bradley’s actual dog IRL, unrelated to the heavy topic) cluelessly yet lovingly waits for him right on the other side of that garage door. Like his fans. They love him, but they don’t know him at all. And all the love in the world, even from those you do know (wife, brother) can’t grab that belt out of your hands when the time comes. So, yeah I cried because I have proverbially been inside that garage. And it’s really fucked up. And it’s scary. And it physically hurts, not just mentally and emotionally. Nothing to be proud of, but you wouldn’t believe the bravery it takes to fall into the unknown. Knowing only that anything, everything is better than this this.

Otherwise, the movie was okay, I guess.


P.S. Here is the real fucking moment/meme. A moment everyone should experience at least once in their life because it feels really fucking good when the guy you like makes you feel special. It also helps if he is a super famous rich singer too.

I Will NEVER Tire of These Songs. Ever! Part 2

(Dedicated to my Twitter-Cowboy-Friend. You know who you are. Sorry it took so long!)

You’ve waited long enough. Time for part 2!!! *squeeeee!* But if you’re wondering, “Hey, where is part 1?” Look no further than here!

So while perusing my first post I noticed I did the whole “#1” thing and then never continued down that path. That is terrible!! So I guess I will not be using any sort of numbering system. Instead I will stick to bullets. I guess. *shrug*

  • What It Takes – Aerosmith

Tell me what it takes to let you go

I was in eighth grade when this song came out. Had huge crushes on Alberto and Brian G. And yeah…. the whole teen girl in love and he’ll never notice me thing. And I always associate this song with sitting on the floor of my friend’s room, listening to it on the radio. Again, one of these songs that I cannot hear enough.  Never tire of it (hence the title! Duh!).

  • I’m a Slave 4 U – Britney Spears

I really want to do what you want me to

Besides making my hairdresser, Erik, extremely happy by giving props to his girl Brit, I really do freaking love this song. Right around the time you grow up and feel like a sexy woman and there goes Ms. Spears writhing around in a mid-drift and dry humping a group of people in a sweaty club. Yes please! So at this point, you might be thinking “Jen, really? You’ll never tire of this song?” Nope. Seriously. I contemplated putting “Nothing compares 2 U” on this list, but seriously…I do get tired of it. “Slave 4 u?” I’ll listen to that shit for hours. Wooohoo!

  • Do They Know It’s Christmas? – Band-Aid

Well tonight thank God it’s them, instead of you

What the hell?! Let’s throw in a Christmas song! And this is the one I would pick. My sister owned the album (look it up, kids!) and I would sit and listen to the damn thing over and over again. The B-side too. That’s how I found out that the English say “Happy Christmas” and “Merry New Year.” Which is, like, the opposite of us in America. Those crazy Brits!

  • When I Fall – Barenaked Ladies

They’re frightened of jumping, in case they survive

Closely tied with “What a Good Boy” another BNL song that I freaking adore. But I chose this one based on that one lyric. It’s hard to describe why, but it means a lot to me and it says a lot. I find the lyrics honest, amazing and well – really amazingly honest! I wish I could write that well.

  • Intergalactic – Beastie Boys

I’ll stir fry you in my wok

Again, a tie with Paul Revere, but the beat is sick. Clear winner.

  • Yesterday – The Beatles

Oh, yesterday came suddenly

I’m not a Beatles person. I’m an Elvis person. But I give props when props are due.  Song is chillingly simple. Bravo.

  • Bad Romance – Lady Gaga

I want your love, I don’t want to be friends

Um, could I quote the whole song? You either get this song or you don’t. And when I heard it, I was like “Holy shitballs. Yes!” I had a bad romance with Simon. And sometimes it’s a once in a lifetime thing. It’s a complete obsession with and for someone who is the complete wrong person for you. Which he was. Having said that, if he got divorced and showed up on the scene again…I’d be all “I want your psycho, your vertical stick.” (*whispers “Call me. Same number!”)

  • Thriller – Michael Jackson

No quote necessary. I mean…I can’t help it. Side story: I was obsessed with the documentary “Making of Thriller.” I guess we taped it on the VCR (off of MTV probably) back in the day. I swear, I should’ve been a special effects make up person. Or a back up dancer! Anyway, one afternoon after school I wanted to watch it but didn’t know how to work the VCR (?? unknown as to why I could not do it myself) so I asked my older sister to help me put it in. She was on the phone and refused to help. WELL! I did what any little sister would do…I rubbed my eyes a whole hell of a lot so they were red, splashed some water around my eyes (for tears) and then sulked in the doorway of her room until she felt bad enough to come out and put it on for me. And it worked! Yes! (K – Still grateful. Thank you. – J)

Ok we’ll I’m sure there are more (do I smell a part 3??) but I’m hungry and need to make some dinner!

I’m still waiting to hear my readers FAVES! Don’t be shy – tell me in the comments.

OMG. Almost forgot:

  • The Reflex – Duran Duran

High time is no time for deciding if I should find a helping hand

Ok I’m really done this time!

Until next time!