Small Minded Soccer Moms

I saw the movie mother! tonight.

I won’t be reviewing the movie.

However,

To the small minded soccer moms in the same theater as me (during a 4:50pm showing):

I’m sorry you don’t know what an allegory is, nor a metaphor, nor an artistic symbol.

You must’ve read that Robert Frost poem and thought that man was just taking a long stroll in the snow.

Anyway, the same phony intellects that LOVED Inception (hated it! A dream within a dream within a dream within a dream? Fuck you, Nolan) after hearing about glowing reviews, are the same phonies who saw something about this movie getting an F and decided way before showtime that they disliked this movie.

Enough to cackle and boo during quiet scenes with low sounding dialog. Grown ass women, whom I saw outside the theater as one declared, “Sharknado was a better movie!”

Seriously, I hope you choke on your Cheesecake Factory dinners so that we can harvest your organs for the actual smart people.

Next time, go see the LEGO movie. That’s more your speed.

xojmo

The Year of Living Dangerously…Social

I don’t know about you, but I get a bunch of those daily email deals from Groupon and Living Social and Amazon Local.  There are some I don’t bother ordering from anymore because they were dicks! I won’t even mention them here. But..if you don’t see their name, it was probably them.

I’ve decided to take advantage of those deals this year! Already I’ve signed up for an online course to learn photography with my new digital camera.  Because right now I only know how to zoom in/out and turn the flash on/off.   I’m guessing these new fangled cameras do a lot of cool stuff.  If I learn two things, I’ll be pretty jazzed!

So there’s that! Oh and I also signed up for a class to learn how to fly for free. Oh you KNOW I’ll let you all know how it goes!!

Unrelated to those deals…I picked up a beginners kit on how to knit at Barnes and Noble.  I know how to crochet, kind of. I mean, I never really got past the single stitch but whatever. Now…I must learn how to knit!

I was trying to think up other things  I would like to do/learn this year:

  • Sew – No, I don’t know how to sew. So….shut up.
  • Sky dive
  • Go to Denver. For the…..antiques. Yeah that’s it
  • Read more
  • Watch “Say Anything” for the first time

NO, I’ve never seen “Say Anything.” No, I’m not lying. And no, I’m not kidding you.  In fact, I’ve been watching a lot of movies recently where I’m like, “Hmm, I totally thought I saw this but NONE of this looks familiar….”

Nope. No idea. I guess I need to see it.

Nope. No idea. I guess I need to see it to get it.

So there you have it… this year JMo will be going to Paint Night, and wine tastings and taking online classes to learn origami.  Who knows?! The sky is the limit…..Literally!!!!  Let me know if you see anything funky, ok?

Happy New Year, peeps!

xojmo