What’s your number?
You already know what I’m talking about.
I hate getting older for one reason (okay there are many reasons, such as, but not limited to, I now fully understand and appreciate why the product Poise is manufactured): Feeling like an out of touch old fogie around the young people.
I’m cool. I’m hip. I’m with it. Down with it. It’s it. What is it?
Where was I? Oh yes…sluts!
Today it’s totally normal for a 22-year-old girl’s “number” to be 20. Or higher!
That makes me wiry-haired chin drop to the floor!
She’s slept with 20 guys?? And she’s only 22! Holy shit.
That, to me, is a lot.
Ok, fine. You’re totally not a cumbucket slutbag if you’ve fucked 20 guys practically before you were of legal age to drink. P.S. Vodka doesn’t give you crabs. Keep your legs closed for a few days!
As a wise man once said back in the 19 hundreds and 90’s about what makes a woman a “low pro hoe”:
But I know she’s a loser
(How do you know?)
Me and the crew used to do her!
Oh snap! That is a cold hard dis right there.
But now…it takes more than the crew.
It’s the crew, the cast, the understudies, the Kraft service, and the whole damn audience!
THEN that would make her a hoe?? Maybe?
And I’m not a prude. I’m sure my earlier posts have proven that. But wow.
Ok, and here’s another problem with this scenario…If true, if girls are more promiscuous and more slutty than ever, what good is being a cougar then?? I thought being a cougar was all sexy like “Oh, that older lady over there has a lot of sexual experience and will do all the things that the girls at school won’t do.”
Yeah, no! Apparently those girls are already doing everything, including you and all your friends AND your enemies. In ever position and every hole!
So what do I bring to the table? I mean, I know I’m a good lay! I got high-fived by a broad-shouldered plump lipped Jewish rugby player* who KNOWS how sex is done. Do I wish I could have a personal reference CV when it comes to my fucking abilities…Yeah, yes I do. But I can’t.
Because honestly….. I would if the guys would take my request seriously! References, people! Or endorse me on LinkedIn. (Ok, omg, imagine?? I’d get a lot of anonymous views after that!)
So why would a guy pick a cougar nowadays? Oh God, don’t say money. Now I’m really screwed.
Yo slick blow,
*Damn, SFJ, when are you going to get divorced already?