Sorry, just one more thing…

Anyone out on the interwebz and beyond who claims to be a feminist, a liberal, a progressive, you love gay cakes, #MeToo, #NeverAgain, pussy hats, et cetera

Any of you who joked about, put down, cut down and/or slut-shamed Kim Kardashian West

GIVE IT A FUCKING REST

Hasn’t it been long enough? Ok, she had the blow job thing with Ray J, but who is more famous? Richer? Sexier? She has built her career, her family, into this all encompassing pop culture yet political sphere.

I, unfortunately, have nothing in common with Kim. I wish I did! Her waist is tiny. She has professional hair and make up people. A brand! An equally famous husband, who I think kinda made Kim cool, I feel like she has some cred. Oh, yeah, and she is a multi-year millionaire!!

What else do you want from her? To go to dental school?! Find the cure for HPV or HIV? Whatever. Which one’s worse?

Give it a rest. It’s all I’m asking. She helped, yes helped(!), get that woman out of jail. Regardless of the weird ass, reality TV road that got us all here…

She truly has MADE something of herself.

She made a bad mistake once – on film. Ok maybe more. But c’mon. A lot of us should be thankful the world wide web didn’t exsist when we were in high school/college and most of our “girls on film” momemts sit dormant on 35mm, or 110 or disc(?) collecting dust.

Can’t we all just get along? Look at what we are up against! Give credit where credit is due.

Please. She turned out okay, alright?

Try giving her compliment. Go ahead.

Ok. That’s it. I just needed to do that girl power wonder woman thing!

Truly outrageous,

jmo

Is the Word “Slut” Even Relevant Anymore?

What’s your number?

You already know what I’m talking about.

I hate getting older for one reason (okay there are many reasons, such as, but not limited to, I now fully understand and appreciate why the product Poise is manufactured):  Feeling like an out of touch old fogie around the young people.

I’m cool. I’m hip. I’m with it. Down with it. It’s it. What is it?

Where was I? Oh yes…sluts!

Today it’s totally normal for a 22-year-old girl’s “number” to be 20. Or higher!

That makes me wiry-haired chin drop to the floor!

She’s slept with 20 guys?? And she’s only 22! Holy shit.

That, to me, is a lot.

Ok, fine. You’re totally not a cumbucket slutbag if you’ve fucked 20 guys practically before you were of legal age to drink. P.S. Vodka doesn’t give you crabs. Keep your legs closed for a few days!

As a wise man once said back in the 19 hundreds and 90’s about what makes a woman a “low pro hoe”:

But I know she’s a loser

(How do you know?)

Me and the crew used to do her!

Oh snap!  That is a cold hard dis right there.

But now…it takes more than the crew.

It’s the crew, the cast, the understudies, the Kraft service, and the whole damn audience!

THEN that would make her a hoe?? Maybe?

And I’m not a prude. I’m sure my earlier posts have proven that. But wow.

Rainbow Party!

Rainbow Party!

Ok, and here’s another problem with this scenario…If true, if girls are more promiscuous and more slutty than ever, what good is being a cougar then??  I thought being a cougar was all sexy like “Oh, that older lady over there has a lot of sexual experience and will do all the things that the girls at school won’t do.”

Yeah, no! Apparently those girls are already doing everything, including you and all your friends AND your enemies.  In ever position and every hole!

So what do I bring to the table? I mean, I know I’m a good lay! I got high-fived by a broad-shouldered plump lipped Jewish rugby player* who KNOWS how sex is done.  Do I wish I could have a personal reference CV when it comes to my fucking abilities…Yeah, yes I do.  But I can’t.

Because honestly….. I would if the guys would take my request seriously! References, people! Or endorse me on LinkedIn. (Ok, omg, imagine?? I’d get a lot of anonymous views after that!)

So why would a guy pick a cougar nowadays?  Oh God, don’t say money. Now I’m really screwed.

Yo slick blow,

xojmo

*Damn, SFJ, when are you going to get divorced already?